ME jokes
Opposite day be like in doors.
Figure: Finally, I can see.
Eyes: Nnnnnoooo! I'm blind. Figure, I'm sorry I made fun of you all those other times. Please don't make fun of me.
Figure: Ok eye promise eye won't.
Eyes: ðŸ˜
Roses are red, lemons are sour, spread your legs, give me an hour!
So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"
So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."
Mom! Mom! My classmates called me an orphan!
I was watching a "don't laugh" video, and an erection joke almost made me laugh.
It really gave me a hard time indeed.
Memes
My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.
Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?
Me: *silence*
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
"Adopt Me."
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Me: Your parents.
Me: Hey, do you want to meet my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more!
Friend: Hi, orphan.
Orphan: Tell me a yo momma joke.
Friend: ummm
Orphan: Exactly, U can't.
Friend: Yo momma so disappointed she left!
I walked past an orphanage, the orphans started to call me names, and I said, "At least I have a family!"
When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"
What did the adopted poker player say?
"Will you raise me?"
I saw a kid crying. I asked him what's wrong, where are your parents? They paused and looked at me funny... GOD I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE.
One time I was watching TV.
Mom: Omg, your dad is coming!
Me: Omg, really?
Mom: Sike, I lied.
My wife of 60 years told me, "Let's go upstairs and make love."
I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both."
People: You're ugly.
Me: Ok.
People: I hate you.
Me: Cool, IDC.
People: You're annoying.
Me: Good for me.
People: BTS is dumb.
Me: I'll give you 5 seconds to run!
Tell me a joke about sodium.
Na.