ME jokes

A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.

I was going to join the debating team.

... but someone talked me out of it.

The patient says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say."

The doctor says, "Next, please."

A Roman walks into a bar.

He holds up two fingers and says, "Give me five beers."

My bank loves me. They told me my credit card balance is outstanding.