Material jokes

What is red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

Once I read a book about glue.

I couldn't put it down.

Why is a brick always hard? Because the Indians played with it enough.

Wanna hear a terrible joke?

Paper

Pretty tear-able, huh?

I hate rubber.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What did the train made of glue make?

GLUE GLUUUUUUUUUUUE!

I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"

He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"

What's long, black, and sticky?

A stick.

Hey guys. I just wanted to say, while I think some rape jokes can be funny, not one of these are. In fact, I find them pretty horrifying.

I was raped when I was fourteen (about six years ago), and I have made one rape joke in my entire life when, last year, I said "I don't fuck with rapists, I just get fucked by them." I thought it was funny. No one else did, and they were probably right in that.

My point is this: rape jokes CAN be funny when they are used by victims as a way of coping with trauma. They CANNOT be funny when they are made about raping someone else. Even if there is a difference between joking about raping someone and raping someone, it is absolutely disgusting to think such a horrific crime is funny, and I am sure at least some of the posters on this page have already crossed the line into committing rape.

Great material for social scientific research, though, gentlemen. Really well done.

You know, most people take rocks for granite... sorry.

What does a skeleton put on his roof?

Shin-gulls.

What is brown and sticky?

A stick.

These jokes cheered me up from suicide. This is amazing material. God bless all of you.