Material jokes
What is brown and sticky? A stick!
My friend has a shovel made of gold. I guess you could call him a gold digger.
Rocks are used too much; people take 'em for granite.
So, there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here, so take your drink, mates, and fuck off."
He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense," replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, he's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!" He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink, he opens with, "Say, aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."
A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.
They have blackboards and whiteboards, but what happened to Mexicanboards?
Paper.
Aww c'mon! I thought my joke made the cut!
Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.
What’s long, brown, and sticky? A stick!
Why was the kinetic sand always happy?
Because it was kinetic with its friends!
I was going to log a pun about trees, but you wooden understand it.
Mortar is like a woman's fanny; the more you play with it, the wetter it gets.
My tutor just said this quote of 2k18^^^
Pontypool is rough.
I had something about tripping over ice.
Well, it slipped my mind, so I'll just test some diamonds to see if they're ice.
Can a box match? No, but a tin can.
Why is leather armor better for sneaking than steel armor?
Leather armor is made of hide.
Why are women in love with plastic because they had a plastic "galflalflflfalfl?"
I have a joke about paper. It's tearable.
I say these jokes are life saving material. Who's with me?
A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sorts of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention.
Next day the kid went to the state tower and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dad asks his son for a second time: "Son! Why are you doing this?" The son replies: "You told me to aim up high!"
What can a rock possibly say?
Answer: I'll fuck ya mum rock hard.