Material jokes
What are the similarities between a broken tire and me?
We were both caused by broken rubber.
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.
Want to hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it's tearable.
What do you call a bad piece of wood? Knotty.
Does money grow on trees? No.
What is money made of? Paper.
What is paper made out of? Trees!
What's blue and bad for your teeth?
A green brick that's painted blue after the original paint dries (it takes a little while to dry), but after it dries you can paint it and then it will be green. If the brick is green it is called a green brick as it is green (not blue anymore) and it hurts your teeth because brick is a hard material that can damage the bones in your mouth (also known as your teeth).
What do you call someone with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
"Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable."
What do you call a piece of paper? A piece of paper.
Why did the wither skeleton fail his test?
Because his answers were netherrite.
I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.
I once asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said, "NaBrO."
Someone eats glue and tells the other, "Sorry, can't stick around!"
Want to hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it's tearable.
A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde walk into a bar.
They were having a chat when the bartender asked them about their opinions on elements.
The redhead says, “I love gold because I can buy a lot of cars with it.”
The brunette says, “I would prefer platinum because it is more valuable than gold and can buy you more cars.”
The blonde says, “I have 2 bags of silicon and you should see the cars outside my house.”
What's harder than titanium? Michael Jackson at the playground.
Want to hear a paper joke?
Never mind, it’s too terrible.
What is brown and extremely sticky?
A stick.
Do you want to hear a paper joke?
Never mind, it is tearable.
Wanna touch my shirt? It's made of boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material.