Material jokes
Want to hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it's tearable.
What are the similarities between a broken tire and me?
We were both caused by broken rubber.
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.
Does money grow on trees? No.
What is money made of? Paper.
What is paper made out of? Trees!
What do you call a bad piece of wood? Knotty.
What's blue and bad for your teeth?
A green brick that's painted blue after the original paint dries (it takes a little while to dry), but after it dries you can paint it and then it will be green. If the brick is green it is called a green brick as it is green (not blue anymore) and it hurts your teeth because brick is a hard material that can damage the bones in your mouth (also known as your teeth).
What do you call someone with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
What do you call a piece of paper? A piece of paper.
Why did the wither skeleton fail his test?
Because his answers were netherrite.
I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.
"Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable."
I once asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said, "NaBrO."
Want to hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it's tearable.
Someone eats glue and tells the other, "Sorry, can't stick around!"
A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde walk into a bar.
They were having a chat when the bartender asked them about their opinions on elements.
The redhead says, “I love gold because I can buy a lot of cars with it.”
The brunette says, “I would prefer platinum because it is more valuable than gold and can buy you more cars.”
The blonde says, “I have 2 bags of silicon and you should see the cars outside my house.”
What's harder than titanium? Michael Jackson at the playground.
Do you want to hear a paper joke?
Never mind, it is tearable.
Want to hear a paper joke?
Never mind, it’s too terrible.
What is brown and extremely sticky?
A stick.
Wanna touch my shirt? It's made of boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material.