I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.
I once asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said, "NaBrO."
Why did the wither skeleton fail his test?
Because his answers were netherrite.
What is the world's strongest material?
The tree that Paul Walker hit.
Someone eats glue and tells the other, "Sorry, can't stick around!"
A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde walk into a bar.
They were having a chat when the bartender asked them about their opinions on elements.
The redhead says, “I love gold because I can buy a lot of cars with it.”
The brunette says, “I would prefer platinum because it is more valuable than gold and can buy you more cars.”
The blonde says, “I have 2 bags of silicon and you should see the cars outside my house.”
Wanna touch my shirt? It's made of boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material.
Once I read a book about glue.
I couldn't put it down.
Hey, I asked for a paper, but I thought it was a cut, but it turns out it was tearable.
Have you heard the joke about the paper?
Never mind, it's tear-able.
Be careful around fire, plastic melts.
My friend has a shovel made of gold. I guess you could call him a gold digger.
What do you call Panera bread that has been weathered and eventually gathered and via cementation and pressure, it becomes a layer of different materials and is also one of the most common types of rock in the sea?
Panera Sed!
What is brown and sticky? A stick!
What is sticky, but it cannot stick a stick?
What is more used than plastic?
Hookers.
Be papered.
I had something about tripping over ice.
Well, it slipped my mind, so I'll just test some diamonds to see if they're ice.
When my friend fell, I didn't crack up, but the sidewalk did.
1: Hey.
2: What?
1: We're outta paint.
2: *HMM*
(And that's how stop signs have extra paint.)
