Material jokes
Can a box match? No, but a tin can.
A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.
what kind of shoes are made of banana peels? slippers.
I have a joke about paper. It's tearable.
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
Why was the kinetic sand always happy?
Because it was kinetic with its friends!
What's brown and sticky?
A stick. Get your head out of the gutters... Jeez!
Velcro is such a rip-off.
Wanna hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it's tearable.
What goes inside and comes out wet?
I was going to make a joke about a piece of paper.
It's just too tear-able.
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.
I bought a wooden whistle. I tried so hard, but it wouldn't whistle.
So I bought a steel one. It still wouldn't let me whistle. Then I got a lead one. It still wouldn't lead me whistle. Then I realised, they were flutes, so the wood would lead me whistle if I did it correctly. Steel....
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?
A slipper.
Gay dik.
Smol Dik.
Plastik Dik.
Rubeh Dik.
Smooth Dik.
Metahl Dik.
What's brown and sticky? A stick!
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
What’s the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
Why is a brick always hard? Because the Indians played with it enough.