Material jokes
What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
What about the glue?
I knew you'd get stuck there.
Do you want to hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it's tear-able.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
Be careful around fire, plastic melts.
Velcro is such a rip-off.
What goes inside and comes out wet?
What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Rubber-toe.
What’s harder than steel?
Michael Jackson in a playground.
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
What is white and sticky?
Glue.
What's brown and sticky? A stick!
Sand under docks is very resilient. It doesn’t give in to pier pressure.
"Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable."
What do you call a bad piece of wood? Knotty.
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.
That joke and paper have one thing in common: they're both tearable.
Feel my shirt...it's boyfriend material.
Make him read a book.
What do you call someone with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
Have you heard about the corduroy pillow cases? They've been making headlines.