Material jokes
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.
what kind of shoes are made of banana peels? slippers.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick. Get your head out of the gutters... Jeez!
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
Why was the kinetic sand always happy?
Because it was kinetic with its friends!
Velcro is such a rip-off.
I have a joke about paper. It's tearable.
What goes inside and comes out wet?
Wanna hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it's tearable.
I was going to make a joke about a piece of paper.
It's just too tear-able.
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.
I bought a wooden whistle. I tried so hard, but it wouldn't whistle.
So I bought a steel one. It still wouldn't let me whistle. Then I got a lead one. It still wouldn't lead me whistle. Then I realised, they were flutes, so the wood would lead me whistle if I did it correctly. Steel....
What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?
A slipper.
Gay dik.
Smol Dik.
Plastik Dik.
Rubeh Dik.
Smooth Dik.
Metahl Dik.
What's brown and sticky? A stick!
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
Why is a brick always hard? Because the Indians played with it enough.
What’s the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.