New Material Jokes

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I'm walking down the street with a bag of dildos, beryllium, and a butt plug.

A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde walk into a bar.

They were having a chat when the bartender asked them about their opinions on elements.

The redhead says, “I love gold because I can buy a lot of cars with it.”

The brunette says, “I would prefer platinum because it is more valuable than gold and can buy you more cars.”

The blonde says, “I have 2 bags of silicon and you should see the cars outside my house.”

What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?

“What in the world did I just read?”

"Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable."

Once I read a book about glue.

I couldn't put it down.

I have a joke about paper. It's tearable.

Why are women in love with plastic because they had a plastic "galflalflflfalfl?"

What is the world's strongest material?

The tree that Paul Walker hit.

Wanna hear a joke about paper?

Never mind, it's tearable.

My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.

Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...

What’s the difference between cotton and an orphan?

One gets picked.

When my friend fell, I didn't crack up, but the sidewalk did.

I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"

He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"

What do you call Panera bread that has been weathered and eventually gathered and via cementation and pressure, it becomes a layer of different materials and is also one of the most common types of rock in the sea?

Panera Sed!