Material

Material Jokes

Bag

🎵 BEAVER BEAVER 🎵

LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA

I'm walking down the street with a bag of dildos, beryllium, and a butt plug.

Blonde

A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde walk into a bar.

They were having a chat when the bartender asked them about their opinions on elements.

The redhead says, “I love gold because I can buy a lot of cars with it.”

The brunette says, “I would prefer platinum because it is more valuable than gold and can buy you more cars.”

The blonde says, “I have 2 bags of silicon and you should see the cars outside my house.”

Sandpaper

What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?

“What in the world did I just read?”

Plastic

Why are women in love with plastic because they had a plastic "galflalflflfalfl?"

Tree

What is the world's strongest material?

The tree that Paul Walker hit.

Blood

My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.

Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...

Friend

I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"

He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"

Panera Bread

What do you call Panera bread that has been weathered and eventually gathered and via cementation and pressure, it becomes a layer of different materials and is also one of the most common types of rock in the sea?

Panera Sed!

Girl

Hey girl, are you a diamond pick?

'Cause I'm as hard as obsidian.

Money

Does money grow on trees? No.

What is money made of? Paper.

What is paper made out of? Trees!