What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
Once I read a book about glue.
I couldn't put it down.
I have a joke about paper. It's tearable.
What is the worlds strongest material....... The tree that Paul walker hit
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
What’s the difference from Cotten and an orphan
One gets picked
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
What do you call Panera bread that has been weathered and eventually gathered and via cementation and pressure it becomes a layer of different materials and is also one of the most common types of rock in the sea?? Panera sed.
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
What's blue and bad for your teeth?
A green brick that's painted blue after the original paint dries (it takes a little while to dry), but after it dries you can paint it and then it will be green. If the brick is green it is called a green brick as it is green (not blue anymore) and it hurts your teeth because brick is a hard material that can damage the bones in your mouth (also known as your teeth).
I say these jokes are life saving material. Who's with me?
Wanna touch my shirt? It's made of boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material
A man walks into a doctor's office, naked and wrapped in Glad Wrap.
The doctor replies with: "I can clearly see your nuts."
Gay dik.
Smol Dik.
Plastik Dik.
Rubeh Dik.
Smooth Dik.
Metahl Dik.
Why was the kinetic sand always happy?
Because it was kinetic with its friends!
"do you know the differance between wallpaper and toilet paper" replys "no" "gross"
Hey guys. I just wanted to say, while I think some rape jokes can be funny, not one of these are. In fact, I find them pretty horrifying.
I was raped when I was fourteen (about six years ago), and I have made one rape joke in my entire life when, last year, I said "I don't fuck with rapists, I just get fucked by them." I thought it was funny. No one else did, and they were probably right in that.
My point is this: rape jokes CAN be funny when they are used by victims as a way of coping with trauma. They CANNOT be funny when they are made about raping someone else. Even if there is a difference between joking about raping someone and raping someone, it is absolutely disgusting to think such a horrific crime is funny, and I am sure at least some of the posters on this page have already crossed the line into committing rape.
Great material for social scientific research, though, gentlemen. Really well done.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick. Get your head out of the gutters... Jeez!
What did the coal say to the charcoal?
You look pretty coal! 🤣
Why is a brick always hard? Because the Indians played with it enough.
