New Material Jokes

i have a jock about paper its tearable

What is the worlds strongest material....... The tree that Paul walker hit

What’s the difference from Cotten and an orphan

One gets picked

I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and i asked him "why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics and building supplies in your basement?"

He responded with "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time i perform people tell me I need new material."

What do you call Panera bread that has been weathered and eventually gathered and via cementation and pressure it becomes a layer of different materials and is also one of the most common types of rock in the sea?? Panera sed.

Whats the difference between cotton and an orphan?

One gets picked

What's blue and bad for your teeth?

A green brick that's painted blue after the original paint dries (it takes a little while to dry) but after it dries you can paint it and then it will be green. If the brick is green it is called a green brick as it is green (not blue anymore) and it hurts your teeth because brick is a hard material that can damage the bones in your mouth (also known as your teeth)

I say these jokes are life saving material. Who's with me?

Wanna touch my shirt? It's made of boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material

"do you know the differance between wallpaper and toilet paper" replys "no" "gross"

Hey guys. I just wanted to say, while I think some rape jokes can be funny, not one of these are. In fact, I find them pretty horrifying.

I was raped when I was fourteen (about six years ago), and I have made one rape joke in my entire life when, last year, I said "I don't fuck with rapists, I just get fucked by them." I thought it was funny. No one else did, and they were probably right in that.

My point is this: rape jokes CAN be funny when they are used by victims as a way of coping with trauma. They CANNOT be funny when they are made about raping someone else. Even if there is a difference between joking about raping someone and raping someone, it is absolutely disgusting to think such a horrific crime is funny, and I am sure at least some of the posters on this page have already crossed the line into committing rape.

Great material for social scientific research, though, gentlemen. Really well done.

What's a pirate's favourite letter?

(People will then say r)

Arrr, you think it be r but really it's the C that they love.

What's a pirate's least favourite letter?

Dear sir,

You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material and your internet will be cut off.

want to hear a joke about paper

never mind its tearable

what is white and sticky ???? GLUE

Son: Mom, can I borrow $50?

Mom: What? NO WAY! Do you think money grows on trees?

Son: Mom, what is money made of?

Mom: Paper.

Son: Where does paper come from?

Mom: . . .

What do you call a Mexican under a carpet? Underlay, underlay.

What do you call a bad piece of wood? Knotty.

A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sort of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention. Next day the kid went to the state tower, and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dads asks his son for a second time: " Son! why are you doing this?" the son replies: "You told me to aim up high".