A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde walk into a bar.
They were having a chat when the bartender asked them about their opinions on elements.
The redhead says, “I love gold because I can buy a lot of cars with it.”
The brunette says, “I would prefer platinum because it is more valuable than gold and can buy you more cars.”
The blonde says, “I have 2 bags of silicon and you should see the cars outside my house.”
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
Once I read a book about glue.
I couldn't put it down.
I have a joke about paper. It's tearable.
Why are women in love with plastic because they had a plastic "galflalflflfalfl?"
What is the world's strongest material?
The tree that Paul Walker hit.
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
What’s the difference from Cotten and an orphan
One gets picked
When my friend fell, I didn't crack up, but the sidewalk did.
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
What do you call Panera bread that has been weathered and eventually gathered and via cementation and pressure it becomes a layer of different materials and is also one of the most common types of rock in the sea?? Panera sed.
Hey girl, are you a diamond pick?
'Cause I'm as hard as obsidian.
Does money grow on trees? No.
What is money made of? Paper.
What is paper made out of? Trees!
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
What's blue and bad for your teeth?
A green brick that's painted blue after the original paint dries (it takes a little while to dry), but after it dries you can paint it and then it will be green. If the brick is green it is called a green brick as it is green (not blue anymore) and it hurts your teeth because brick is a hard material that can damage the bones in your mouth (also known as your teeth).
I say these jokes are life saving material. Who's with me?
Wanna touch my shirt? It's made of boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material.
A man walks into a doctor's office, naked and wrapped in Glad Wrap.
The doctor replies with: "I can clearly see your nuts."
Gay dik.
Smol Dik.
Plastik Dik.
Rubeh Dik.
Smooth Dik.
Metahl Dik.
Why was the kinetic sand always happy?
Because it was kinetic with its friends!
