Material Jokes

Have you heard about the corduroy pillow cases? They've been making headlines.

Paper.

Aww c'mon! I thought my joke made the cut!

Rocks are used too much; people take 'em for granite.

Sand under docks is very resilient. It doesn’t give in to pier pressure.

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.

me when i realized that buildings don't make earth any heavier cuz all the materials were already used on it.

A grayscale image of a stuffed dolphin with a tie around its neck. It has a single tear under its eye. Text below says: "And they ask you how you are, and you just have to say you're fine when you're not really fine."

A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sorts of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention.

Next day the kid went to the state tower and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dad asks his son for a second time: "Son! Why are you doing this?" The son replies: "You told me to aim up high!"

So, there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here, so take your drink, mates, and fuck off."

He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense," replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, he's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!" He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink, he opens with, "Say, aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."