Mass jokes

A sign that broadcast television has less impact on the masses: The force-feeding of Kelly Clarkson on network television has yet to impact the large stacks of Kelly Clarkson CDs collecting dust in Goodwill, right next to those James Last LPs.

When there's a news story of people who have died en masse, for example from explosions and fires.

Other people are all "oh no that's terrible!"

Pfft shut up, lying asshole. Trying to be "nice".

I'm like "YAY EXCITING. I don't like being bored hearing 'good news' all of the time."

Your forehead's so big, Jupiter's moons look up to it.

If you shined a light on it, it would reflect and be a star in the Andromeda galaxy.

Your forehead's so big, it's the main foundation for the wall of China.

Your forehead's so big, it makes up half of the Milky Way's mass.

Your forehead's the reason why the Earth still spins.

I went to the shooting range the other day. After a while, I realized I was the only one there. So, I decided to go home and saw on the news that there was a mass school shooting and there were reporters on the scene. Man, I knew I should have stayed around a little longer.

What's the difference between genocide and mass murder?

Genocide is racist.

What objects have the most gravitational force?

A Lambo and a gold digger.

So, I was at a funeral the other day, and it was a school shooting mass funeral. The lady beside me asked me, “What do you think was going through their heads?” And I replied, “Probably a bullet.” She was furious and said, “How dare you! You have no idea what those kids were probably going through!” And I replied, “Well, they were going through anything the bullet was going through them.”

Don't you just want to go on a mass murder while listening to goodbye Moonman? Oh, just me... OK.

Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the coronavirus?

When someone sneezes, everyone shits their pants.

Why did the orphan commit mass murder?

To be on top of the wanted list.