Why did Ms Grapes đ want to marry Mr Grapes đ?
Because she loves raisin kids.
Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winterâs morning: "Windows frozen, won't open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer." Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.â
My wife told me pass her lip stck but i gave her a glue stick now she is not talking to me
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better so i sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wifes broken leg.
I almost secretly married a watermelon, but I canteloupe.
Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?
Because they had a connection
I've decided to marry a pencil. I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
Husband: I bet you can't say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time Wife: You have the biggest penis out of all your friends
Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible but the reception was great!
A woman comes to the doctor and tells her âdoctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?â The doctor says âmy numberâ
The Wife said "Honey! Do you like my new Teeth?"
The Husband replied "They remind me of stars Darling!" "Yellow and Far apart"
A wife and husband had been on a strict diet and the wife said yaknow weve been good about our diet lets have a cheat night tonight. The wife came home with kfc and wendys. the husband came home with sylvia from the office.
A husband comes home from work one day and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still canât cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still canât fuck."
Therapist: so what brought you here today? wife: he's too literal Therapist: and you sir? husband: my truck
i thought my wife was joking when she said she was gunna leave me because i wouldnât stop singing âim a believerâ but then i saw her face
Why couldnât the dwarf husband make his wife pregnant?
Because of his short cummings.
Dad: Hey son wanna here a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbors dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life son! My life is the joke.
i hooked up with the groom at my uncle's wedding
I'm not saying you're inbred. I'm just saying you're a textbook example of why consanguineous marriage might not be the best idea.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his wife? He wiped.
