What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.
A wife says to her husband 'you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back' 'what do you expect' he says 'you're in a fucking wheelchair'
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!
Hickory Dickory Dock My wife avoids my cock She's losing her and having an affair So I had to slap Chris Rock
Ariana Grande had 7 husbands, so she had 7 rings.
how do you know when your wife is cheating on you? - she comes home with sparkles on her face
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.
An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee, A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after awhile and says, "Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in".
Abner’s wife was laying on her death bed. She suddenly used all her strength to sit up and say to her husband, “I must tell you something, or my soul will never know peace. I have been unfaithful to you, Abner. In this very house, not one month ago.” “Hush, dear,” soothed Abner. “I know all about it. Why else have I poisoned you?”
What do bees 🐝 do when they get married? They go on a honeymoon.
You want to hear some marriage jokes?
Don't worry it's just a couple.
So Kenny finally found his one true love. But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.
Hey what is the difference between a painting and a wife?
Only the wife was hung up
If there is a divorce in West Virginia Are they still brother and Sister?
Woman- What’s a good comeback for my sexist husband when he tells me to go make him a sandwich
Husband- I know! How about you COMEBACK with a godda*n sandwich?
A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?" He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"
Why don’t cheetahs get married? They always cheat on each other
Why can't an orphan get married. It doesn't have its parents blessing.
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day." Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
