Many

Many jokes

Cat

    • There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?

    Zero, they were copycats.

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    Mum

    • Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said, "Why are there so many people under me?"

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    Many memes
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    Pineapple

    • Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?

    None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.

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    • Clock

    • Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.

    "These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."

    "Oh, cool."

    "This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."

    "Makes sense."

    "This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."

    "Where's Trump's clock?"

    "Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."

    And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.

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    Number

    • Why shouldn’t you call people in China?

    Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.

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    Car

    • How many people can you fit in a car?

    6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.

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    Sex

    • They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?

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