Many

Many Jokes

Light Bulb

So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...

How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.

There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.

Psychologist

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

It only takes one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to want to change.

Cheese

Why did the cheese go to therapy? Because it had too many emotional holes.

Black Hole

*trigger alert*

Why did the racist cop shut down the space brothel?

Because there were too many black holes.

Teacher

Teacher, there are 3 birds. 1 gets shot. How many are left?

Student, none. They flew off because the shot scared them off.

Teacher, actually 2, but I like the way you think.

5 minutes later

Student, there are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 is licking it, 1 is drinking it melted, and 1 is sucking it. Which one is married?

Teacher, the one sucking it?

Student, no, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think.

Ear

How many ears does Captain Picard have?

Three: A left ear, a right ear, and a final front-ear.

Baby

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

Well, it's not 8 because my basement is still dark.

Cop

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.

  • 6
  • Baby

    How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?

    I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.

    Mathematician

    An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore.

    The chemist and the physicist come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."

    Cat

    There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?

    Zero, they were copycats.

    Gun

    Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?

    'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.

    Mum

    Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said, "Why are there so many people under me?"

    Ear

    Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?

    Because there's too many ears.