Many jokes
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
How many white women does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. To hire the Mexicans.
Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?
Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces.
Alex Stokes says, "Kat, I've seen you eat many foods!"
Sally had 69 boobs, which was 222 many, 69,222. So she went to the doctor on 51st street, 69,222,51, who gave her pills. She took them 8 times a day, and now she is boobless.
How many people does it take to wash the dishes?
Only Juan.
Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.
Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.
So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.
There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
It only takes one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to want to change.
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.
*trigger alert*
Why did the racist cop shut down the space brothel?
Because there were too many black holes.
Teacher, there are 3 birds. 1 gets shot. How many are left?
Student, none. They flew off because the shot scared them off.
Teacher, actually 2, but I like the way you think.
5 minutes later
Student, there are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 is licking it, 1 is drinking it melted, and 1 is sucking it. Which one is married?
Teacher, the one sucking it?
Student, no, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think.
How many ears does Captain Picard have?
Three: A left ear, a right ear, and a final front-ear.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Well, it's not 8 because my basement is still dark.
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.
An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore.
The chemist and the physicist come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."