Many jokes

How many Americans does it take to fill the Grand Canyon?

4

Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"

The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"

A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"

How many orphans does it take to change a light bulb?

Obviously more than three because my basement is still dark.

How many skinheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

10; 1 to do it and 9 to back him up.

Many were curious about how methane ended up on Mars.

I'm pretty sure it was because of Uranus.

How do you check that a rabbit is old?

You check how many gray hares it has.

I love escalator jokes. There's not too many steps.

The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."

Why do Roman Catholics have so many kids?

So there’s more for the priest.

What do you call the woman that fucked sooooooo many hunks to have the condom break and a failure to be born? Ur Mum.

A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.

When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"

God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."

Huh, I'm really pissed off. No matter how many jokes I make, no one likes them. 😭😭:'(:':😔😔😿💔💔👇👇:(

How many redheads does it take to change a lightbulb?

One! She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.

How many animals can you fit in a pair of underpants?

A. A cock and a few hairs (hares).

How many babies does it take to paint wheels red?

It depends on your speed.

Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?

Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.

How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.

Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."

How many Senators fans does it take to change a light bulb?

All 3 of them.

Hockey for life!

So many things are going through my head.

How am I not dead yet?