A calendar asked the doctor how many time he's got left. The doctor replyed: Till december
A man found out that he was going to die. A German doctor comes in and says “you have 10 more”. The man yells out “10 WHAT!! DAYS!!!! WEEKS!!!”. And the doctor says ”No seconds” and the man says “9 SECONDS!!!” And the doctor says “Nine Ten Seconds” He asked “How many seconds do i have to live 10,9 , or..........” Then he died and learned how to say no in German....
If you have 20 apples and you ate 2 how many you have left? 0 because you have 20 and and take away 2 you have 0 left.
Why dod the weel fall?
BECAUSE THERE WAS TO MANY FAT PEOPLE ON IT.
How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb
None they just beat the room for it being black
There were 32 cows TWENTY-EIGHT Chickens HOW ANY WHERE THERE? There were 32 cows twenty ate chickens how many were there
So dark Many jokes about orphans God this is the second worst thing to happen to these orphans
how many hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.
BREAKING NEWS
All the desert regions in the world are now considered lush rainforests. They house many different species of life and have significantly helped with the constant carbon dioxide emissions.
The reason why is because... Your texts are so dry.
How many gangsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 35! Do you have a problem with that?
You’ll parsley be-leaf how many puns I have. Hopefully your funny-bone isn’t broken because these are real rib-ticklers.
MORE BAD JOKES
How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Tentacles!
How many apples can you grow on a tree? All of them.
me: how many letters are in the alphabet? that one friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T
How many times I tap that ass? OVER 9000!
One man said"do you need 20 bucks"
The other said"do you have that many"
Why don’t rappers ever get cold?
Because they have so many FANS
Why couldn’t the booty be on social media?
It had too many FOLLOWERS behind it
Why is sonic so fat he eats to many chillidogs
My cousin really loves baseball He always Brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors
