Many jokes
Guy: Hi, how was your day today?
Woman: Good!
Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*
Guy: How many months pregnant are you?
Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.
Why shouldn’t you call people in China?
Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.
Louis Armstrong and Tork Poettschke go for a walk.
One says to the other, "My wife always says that icke is no worse than the other men."
"How many men does your wife have?"
I have so many orphan jokes. I'm afraid most of them won't hit home.
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
How many communists does it take to change a lightbulb? Never enough.
How many times do you nut? It depends how hard you do it.
Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.
How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, cause they'll screw anything.
How many times does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Tentacles!
Why is Sonic so fat? He eats too many chili dogs.
How many people do you need to change a lightbulb?
Three. The first holds the ladder, the second one holds the lightbulb, and the third one spins the ladder.
Why couldn’t the booty be on social media?
It had too many FOLLOWERS behind it.
"{[(Log date) 11 22 3] The Beginning} "This marks the first ever log of the Underground Fruit Association of n&c (ugfa). N, being code name for Nathaniel, and C, being code name for Connor. Our plan is to collect as many fruit cups as possible by the end of the year. This site will be a communication hub only and used for nothing else. We will plan and discuss courses of action, and collection." End of log"
How many hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.
I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.
Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?
'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.
What did the little boy say to the fat man?
How many Japs did you get?
Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"
What happened to the cheetah that took too many baths?
The cheetah became spotless!