Many jokes
How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?
Push?! He fell...
What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... How many fingers am I holding up?
Why did the Mushroom get invited to so many parties?
He was a fungi!
Why did the Twin Towers die? Because they had too many plane pizzas.
I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.
How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb, 9 to talk about how inspired they are?
During the Wintery Wackiness Wars!
A Soviet Sergeant, stationed stilly near a sloped summit with his silly soldiers!
Then a shout sails from the tippy-top: "A Finnish fighter's fantastic force fractures a hundred heroic Honchos!"
The Kommandant's kerfuffle commences, commanding a caravan of one hundred comrades to conquer the crest!
Nifty navigation notes nil, the nasty news nabs many! After an Hour, hush descends. The high voice hollers, "A Finnish fighter's fantastic force fractures a thousand heroic Honchos!"
Kommander fumes, forcing a further flurry, flinging one thousand fine fellows skyward!
Nearly two hours now and the noisy nuisance ceases, then the shouting starts: "A Finnish fighter's fantastic force fractures ten thousand heroic Honchos!"
The Kommandant kaput! Ten thousand troopers take the trek, taking tanks, trundling skyward, to take the terrain!
Four fearsome, fretful hours then a soldier in tatters comes tumbling, talking: "Stop sending up soldiers, sir! There's two Finns fighting fiercely!"
Only if Africans knew about condoms, so many mosquitoes wouldn't die of AIDS.
So many bots commenting so fúcking fix it!
How many Lowe’s could Rob Lowe rob if Rob Lowe could rob Lowe’s?
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
102, if you have some alive ones.
Your Friend: Bro, I'm having a movie sleepover tonight. I've invited 17 people, wanna come?
You: Yeah, but why so many people?
Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers.
You: Dude!!!!
There are many types, good and bad, all at a reasonable price (€3.90 per week), and you can buy crushed stone for €5. It can be fresher and tastier than ever.
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?
Zero, they were copycats.
The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."
How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?
Both of them.
How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.
How many thots have I bullied?
Three. The rest are dead.
Guy: Hi, how was your day today?
Woman: Good!
Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*
Guy: How many months pregnant are you?
Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.