Man jokes
Chuck Norris doesn't ride horses.
Horses ride him.
One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.
Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."
Dad: How was your trip to the park?
Daughter: It was good until the man came along.
Dad: *gasps* Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened?
Daughter: He made my friends go away so it was just me and him... then he took my dress off...
Dad: Oh God, what next?
Daughter: Nothing, that was it.
Dad: Oh, come on! That wasn't exciting, make something up!
What is the most sensitive part of a man's anatomy while he's masturbating?
His ears.
Why do Indian men marry fat women?
Because they worship cows.
Three old women are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them.
The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman couldn't quite reach.
Women have ass and tits... but men have dick and rights.
Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?
Doctor: To the morgue.
Man: But I’m not dead yet.
Doctor: Are we there yet?
Men play video games to let their inner child out, while women do abortions.
Why is it that skinny men love fat women?
Because we need warmth in the winter and shade in the summer.
Called a homeless kid 'Spider-Man' because he had no way home.
Man, this walk is really good. Oh wait, you can't.
What is an orphan's favorite Marvel movie?
"Spider-Man: No Way Home."
One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.
They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
I'm not saying I'm ugly...
But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.
Man 1: Dude, Viagra is for pussies. Real men don’t need Viagra.
Man 2: I thought Viagra was for dicks?
What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?
"We need to circumcise that one."
I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.
A poor person came up to me and said, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."