Man

Man jokes

Egg

  • A person laughs every day.

    "Man," they say, "I'm glad I'm not an egg, otherwise I'd just CRACK MYseLf uP!"

  • 1
  • Brojob

  • If a heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from another heterosexual man at a glory hole, it's called a "brojob", but if a homophobic heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from a gay man at a glory hole, it's still called a "brojob". Does it cycle now?

  • 2
  • Name

  • A guy starts chatting to a pretty woman at a party.

    Seeing that she didn't back off, he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. "That's a nice name," he said, warming up the conversation. "Who named you, your mother?"

    "No, I named myself," she answered.

    "Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"

    "Because I like cars, and I like men," she said, looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.

    ‘BJ Titsngolf’

  • 8
  • Fellatio

  • What is one thing that a physicality handicapped gay man can do better than a heterosexual female or a bisexual female that are not born physicality handicapped? Know how to perform fellatio on a man that has a very long and thick and very large dick.

  • 0
  • Ghost

  • Eibar-Man! Eibar-Man! Does whatever a ghost can.

    Scores a tapin With Xaviesta’s assistance. Misses a pen From close distance.

    Lookout! Here comes the Eibar-man!

  • 1
  • Display

  • So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"

  • 4
  • Asshole

  • A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street. He thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with, so he called in one of the friends.

    The friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." The policeman called in the 2nd friend. The 2nd friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." Confused, the policeman asked, "How is it that when you look into his face you're sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you're sure he is not?"

    The 1st friend said, "Well, you see, Joe has 2 assholes." "Are you serious?" the policeman asked. "Oh yes," he replied, "we've never actually seen them, but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, 'Hey, there's Joe with those 2 assholes.'"

  • 0
  • Beatles

  • Two people are under the covers. The man says, "Quote the Beatles: Come together!"

  • 0
  • Boy

  • Boys are like minis.

    Girls are like big pots.

    Minis always come first. Don't think about sex boys, be men.

  • 1
  • Christmas

  • What does the child with no hands get for Christmas? Unknown. He hasn't opened it yet.

    What does a homeless man in New York get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

  • 2
  • Girl

  • A man has been dating a girl forever. He finally says, "I love you." The girl says, "Aww, thanks." The man looks at her, "Are you not gonna say it back?" The girl says, "No, I can’t."

    Rain

  • It’s raining, it’s pouring. The old man is snoring. He got shot in the head and didn’t wake up in the morning.

    Titanic

  • शाला टाइटैनिक को भी यमलोक जाना पड़ा। हम तो आदमी है।

    Shala, even Titanic had to go to Yamlok. We are just men.