Man jokes

You heard of Spider-Man: No Way Home. Now get ready for:

Orphan: No Way Home.

A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.

How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?

There is sperm on the screen.

Chuck Norris doesn't ride horses.

Horses ride him.

One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.

Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."

Dad: How was your trip to the park?

Daughter: It was good until the man came along.

Dad: *gasps* Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened?

Daughter: He made my friends go away so it was just me and him... then he took my dress off...

Dad: Oh God, what next?

Daughter: Nothing, that was it.

Dad: Oh, come on! That wasn't exciting, make something up!

What is the most sensitive part of a man's anatomy while he's masturbating?

His ears.

Women have ass and tits... but men have dick and rights.

Three old women are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them.

The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman couldn't quite reach.

A poor person came up to me and said, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."

What did one God say to the other?

"I will die to be a man."

If I teach man he is the fish I caught, will I no longer be a fisher of men?

Man with cancer: How much time do I have left?

Doctor: Ten.

Man: Weeks? Months? Days?

Doctor: Nine, eight, seven...

Hitler was the most handsome man alive.

Everyone died for him.

Give a man a plane ticket, and he’ll fly for a day.

Push a man from a plane, and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

What do you call it when a man gets high in Panera Bread?

Panera sped.

What's the difference between a gay man and a hairline?

The hairline is way straighter.

Man, I love telling jokes about orphans. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

What did the doctor say to the Chinese man?

"Some ting wong."

Transgenders! Men in disguise!