Man

Man jokes

Dairy

The other day a man with some cheese and milk attacked me... how dairy!

Abortion

Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!

Bar

Guy: Say "I'm a man" every time I stop.

Person:

Guy: You walk into a bar.

Person: I'm a man.

Guy: You meet a girl.

Person: I'm a man.

Guy: You and the girl go to a hotel.

Person: I'm a man.

Guy: You guys go on a bed.

Person: I'm a man.

Guy: She whispers into your ear...

Person: I'm a man!

Priest

There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.

The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"

The teacher said, "What about the kids?"

The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."

The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"

Memes

Son

Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?

Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.

Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.

Father: Now you know.

Girlfriend

Straight men change their girlfriends like they change their undies. So, about once a month.

Wheelchair

I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣

Twin Towers

What did the Twin Towers get when they ordered an extra large pepperoni pizza?

When the pizza man got there, all they got was plane.

Penis

Danny Devito looks like one of those men with a short, yet thick penis.

Sex

Why do women always have sex with the lights off?

Because they never like to see a man having a good time.

Orphanage

Man, don't you hate it when you hit a speed bump by an orphanage but then realize there's no speed bumps here...

Son

A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sorts of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention.

Next day the kid went to the state tower and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dad asks his son for a second time: "Son! Why are you doing this?" The son replies: "You told me to aim up high!"

Gay

John saw a Gay in a wheelchair.

"I didn't know a man could be a fruit and a Vegetable!"

Desert

Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.

Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.

Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.