Man jokes

I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣

What do you call Miles Morales Spider-Man from Europe?

Kilometers Morales.

What did the Twin Towers get when they ordered an extra large pepperoni pizza?

When the pizza man got there, all they got was plane.

Danny Devito looks like one of those men with a short, yet thick penis.

Why do women always have sex with the lights off?

Because they never like to see a man having a good time.

There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.

The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"

The teacher said, "What about the kids?"

The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."

The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"

A gay guy asked me for directions, so I told him to go straight.

Man, don't you hate it when you hit a speed bump by an orphanage but then realize there's no speed bumps here...

A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sorts of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention.

Next day the kid went to the state tower and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dad asks his son for a second time: "Son! Why are you doing this?" The son replies: "You told me to aim up high!"

What did John Cena say to the blind man? "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"

Why do men have penises?

They gotta shut women up somehow.

John saw a Gay in a wheelchair.

"I didn't know a man could be a fruit and a Vegetable!"

Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.

Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.

Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.

Man: I must confess, Father.

Priest: What are you here to confess?

Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.

Priest: And what happened to your son?

Man: He said a man raped him.

Priest: When and where did this happen?

Man: A local church. I don't know which one.

Priest: ...By whom?

Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.

Priest: ...Shit

A police pulls over a Mexican man trying to get into America. The Mexican man comes up with some sob story and the police say, "All right, all right ok," says the police, "I'll let you go if you can come up with a sentence that has the words green, pink, and yellow in it." The Mexican thought about it long and hard for almost 45 minutes and then the police says, "Ok ok let's hear it" after waiting impatiently. The Mexican said, "Ok ok don't rush me. I'm ready." The Mexican replied, "Ok when my phone green green, I pink it up and say Yellow!"

Men and women are not equal, speaking biologically and mentally. I don't care what other feminists say. Men are naturally physically stronger, while women are more mentally stable (sometimes). The internet and the media will lie. You feminists say that you are stronger. Well, you wish. You can't hit a girl because she is more sensitive, but she says she is stronger. Like, what the hell?

We're not sexist men; you're sexist women. And BTW, you'll rot in hell for hating God's creation. And also, men were created before women. Search it up in the Bible or online.

A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.

Like if you think oily men are hot.

I gave a blind man a gun and told him it was a hair dryer.

I had to share a table recently with a disabled man. When I asked him for the salt and pepper, he had to make two trips.