Man jokes
If a man says you’re ugly, he likes you.
If a woman says you’re ugly, she’s just jealous.
If a child says you’re ugly, well, you’re ugly.
I used to get pushed and called lazy in school.
Man, I loved that wheelchair.
A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
Why are people in Japan always skinny?
Because last time there was a "Fat Man", a whole city disappeared.
What do you call a train with bubble gum?
A chew chew train.
Oh man, I'm depressed.
What is the difference between a man performing anilingus on a woman and a man performing cunnilingus on a woman?
If a man is performing anilingus on a woman, it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy, you fucking idiot!!!!!
What are the big mouths of feminists good for? Portable urinal for men.
What do you call a Chinese man with a camera?
Phill Ming.
Your hairline goes back to when Adam and Eve were born.
If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar's patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligator's mouth, and starts whacking it with the stick. After he's done and gets his drink, he asks if anyone else would like a go.
A lady gets up and says yes, she would like a go, asks that he doesn't hit her with the stick.
Why are most firefighters men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet.
A black man entered a bar with a parrot on the his shoulder. The bartender says “that looks exotic, where’d you get it” “Africa” the parrot responded.
Why do feminists believe that they can act like a bitch towards men if they want to? Because they were born without a penis.
A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, there's a spider." The blind man simply said, "Step on it."
A man walks up to a priest. The man says, "I am Jesus Christ." The priest says, "No, you are not my son." The man says, "Follow me." The man walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Jesus Christ, you're back!"
I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man, do I love being a sniper.
Why does a married heterosexual man want an anonymous blowjob at a glory hole inside an adult bookstore?
Because he doesn't want his wife to find out that he got a blowjob from another man.
Wacko Jacko bleached his skin, lit his head on fire, slept in a chamber, abused his pet monkey, built an amusement park in his own backyard, had toys as decor for his home, slept with little boys, raped little boys. Jacko was Florida Man before Florida Man.
If you don't like my suicidal jokes, sorry man, didn't know it cut that deep.