A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
If a man says you’re ugly, he likes you.
If a woman says you’re ugly, she’s just jealous.
If a child says you’re ugly, well, you’re ugly.
I used to get pushed and called lazy in school.
Man, I loved that wheelchair.
What do you call a train with bubble gum?
A chew chew train.
Oh man, I'm depressed.
A young boy was picked up by a strange young man who put him in his car and drove into an abandoned farm.
"This place looks scary," the kid said.
And the man replies, "I know right, I have to walk out of there alone."
What is the difference between a man performing anilingus on a woman and a man performing cunnilingus on a woman?
If a man is performing anilingus on a woman, it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy, you fucking idiot!!!!!
What are the big mouths of feminists good for? Portable urinal for men.
What do you call a Chinese man with a camera?
Phill Ming.
Wacko Jacko bleached his skin, lit his head on fire, slept in a chamber, abused his pet monkey, built an amusement park in his own backyard, had toys as decor for his home, slept with little boys, raped little boys. Jacko was Florida Man before Florida Man.
A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar's patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligator's mouth, and starts whacking it with the stick. After he's done and gets his drink, he asks if anyone else would like a go.
A lady gets up and says yes, she would like a go, asks that he doesn't hit her with the stick.
Your hairline goes back to when Adam and Eve were born.
Why are most firefighters men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet.
Why do feminists believe that they can act like a bitch towards men if they want to? Because they were born without a penis.
How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man that is homophobic into giving him a brojob?
The gay man puts mustard on his dick and then puts his dick inside a glory hole.
A man walks up to a priest. The man says, "I am Jesus Christ." The priest says, "No, you are not my son." The man says, "Follow me." The man walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Jesus Christ, you're back!"
If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
Why does a married heterosexual man want an anonymous blowjob at a glory hole inside an adult bookstore?
Because he doesn't want his wife to find out that he got a blowjob from another man.
If you don't like my suicidal jokes, sorry man, didn't know it cut that deep.
I like my couches like my women... Old, used, and big enough to fit 3 men.
I went to the shooting range the other day. After a while, I realized I was the only one there. So, I decided to go home and saw on the news that there was a mass school shooting and there were reporters on the scene. Man, I knew I should have stayed around a little longer.
