Man jokes
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."
Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex.
They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.
He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice? Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
Why did the man put himself on fire?
To BURN Calories.
What's the difference between a bear with a gun and an American man with a gun?
The bear has common sense not to fire it.
I like men like I like money, always getting lost under my bed.
Why did the man say "hi" to say "bye?"
Why did the roach talk to the man? To die.
A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks, "How long am I going to live?"
The doctor says, "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says, "10".
The man asks, "Ten what?"
Then the doctor keeps going, "6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1".
What sayd the man to the woman??
Go to the kitchen lol.
Did you hear about the old Italian chef?? Yeah he pasta away.
Then a man walked comprehending to be him. Everyone knew he was an impasta.
Two men walk into a bar. You’d think at least one of them would have ducked.
What is the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out.
MAN 1) Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
MAN 2) No.
MAN 1) Neither did he.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.
Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.
Guy #2: Why, what is it?
Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.
Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...
Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!
What did the Indian say to the fat man?
"Curry up!"
What did the one-handed man have for breakfast this morning?
Finger food.