If Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they would be great ALLOYS!
An American woman married a British man. On their honeymoon, the British husband said, "You look like a million pounds!" The wife divorced him.
Man in boxers leads policeman on brief chase.
a man attacked me with cheese and milk how dairy!"!!!
A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"
Stephen hawkings family was crule he fell over and got told to man up an walk it of.
Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home.
As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump's wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie.
As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him. The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him, and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him.
Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn't really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump's friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump's friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, "Aww, I'm lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!"
Three men are traveling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while, but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, they suddenly stumble across a tent, and inside are three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny, too, so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince, and these three women were his wives, so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is:
The guy says, "I'm a fireman."
The prince says, "Then we'll burn your dick off!"
The second guy says, "I'm an employee at the shooting range."
The prince says, "Then we'll shoot your dick off!"
The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman."
How did the Scottish man find the sheep in the tall grass?
Satisfying.
A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.
He just turned a blind eye.
Two men were bartering over a marble slab. A lot of counter-offers were made.
A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" After that he joined the Army and learned to say, "Yes sir!" After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, "Goody-goody gumdrops!"
A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows:
Policeman: "Who killed the man?" Foreign man: "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" Policeman: "Did you kill the man?" Foreign man: "Yes sir!" Policeman: "What did you use to kill him?" Foreign man: "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" Policeman: "You're under arrest." Foreign man: "Goody-goody gumdrops!"
To be brutally honest, I think his wife let him die for money, because they could just plug him back in. Surely they have an Android cable about?
A blind man is going for a walk. Eventually, he reaches a fish market.
He yells, "Hello ladies!"
What did the drunk woman say to the man after leaving the bar?
"Alcohol, you later!"
Three men walk into a bar... you would have thought the last one would have ducked.
Wanna hear a clean one?
Old man takes a bath with bubbles.
Wanna hear a dirty one?
Bubbles is the 14 year old next door.
Build a man a fire, he will be warm for a day. Give him some Tfox merch, and he will be on fire.
Some man was walking too slow, so I told him to Mufasa.
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
