Make jokes

Why can't poor people write jokes?

Because they make no cents.

What is the best way to make a leaf?

Go down, back around, and stir up a tree. Make it spin, watch again. Oven baking, ding, we're done!

I make weed disappear, what's your superpower?

It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.

An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf, and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.

Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa? Cause they make the toys.

My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...

So I threw a coconut at her.

How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket.

How do you restrain a trans person? Make the trans vest tight.

Atoms are untrustworthy little critters. They make everything up!

I thought about making a necrophilia joke, but I knew it would be a DOA.

How does a rapper make tea?

He drops some HOT BARS into a cup.

Make America Great Britain again!

Little Johnny is walking around and peeks in his parents' room, catching them having sex. So he asks, "What are you guys doing?" and they reply, "Nothing, nothing! We're just, uh, making cake," and they send him away.

So he continues walking around, and he hears some strange noises coming from his brother's room. He walks in and catches his brother and his brother's girlfriend having sex and then asks him, "What are you guys doing?" and his brother yells, "Get out! We're making cake!"

So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says, "So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night, huh?" and she replies, "OMG! How'd you know!?" and Johnny replies, "Because I licked the icing off the couch."

Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?

Because the teacher said, "Don't make me call your parents!"

Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.

This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).

"Stop, that's mean! You're making fun of people with Down syndrome!"

Me telling my parents I'm depressed: my parents, "No, you're just a little stressed and want attention, am I right?" My depression worsening, me: "Yeah, you're totally right mom..." Me in my head making a plan to commit suicide.....

BlessedBrian is always stupid, but he’s been making a SPECIAL EFFORT recently.

Bible Verse of The Day - For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.

—Romans 8:15-16

What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?

They both make noise when you throw them.

My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.