Make jokes
"This isn't the first time my husband's cheated on me, but you're my sister! You'd better have a better explanation than this magic lamp."
"You know how you have to be specific making wishes? Well, I was really horny and asked the genie to have the world's biggest penis....ended up with a concert pianist that's seven foot tall. Nice guy. Next time I tried, I asked for the world's biggest cock, that was fun but the poor rooster died. So I asked for the world's biggest dick and that's how I ended up on top of your husband."
Why don't cows make good policemen?
Because they refuse to go on steak-outs!
Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."
The student looked up and replied, "Well, you can’t say you weren’t warned, Mrs. Matthews!"
Two sticks only make a fire.
I make gay jokes because I am a gay joke.
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
Why shouldn't you make an orphan cry?
Because they won't have a parent to cry to.
The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it.
Why did the Asian parents have an Asian baby?
Two wongs don't make a white.
I make elevating music; you make elevator music.
Why do I go around making orphan jokes? Because they can't go crying to their parents. 😅
Funny jokes are like kids with autism.
They have special needs to make them.
Why couldn’t the guy make bubbles?
He couldn’t find the right solution.
Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.
What type of bee can't make up his mind?
A maybe.
Chuck Norris can make an omelet from Kinder surprise.
Today, my mother was making breakfast. As she was tired, my brother asked if there was anything to do today.
She responded with a list:
- Take out the trash.
- Clean your room.
- Make lunch and be sure to butter the electrical sockets.
That’s all sweetie!
Why is it so hard to make friends in Antarctica?
Because you cannot break the ice.
I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.
Hey, you wanna hear something funny?
An atom makes up everything. Half of this site contains this joke. Don't trust the internet, kids.