Make jokes
What Disney movie does the church make little girls watch?
Snow White and the Seven Deadly Sins.
It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.
Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
The Titanic movie cost $200 million dollars to make, meanwhile the Titanic ship cost $400 million to construct.
Titanic was made by Paramount and 20th Century Fox. CHEAPSKATES!
Did you know Disney is making a movie for suicidal people?
They're calling it Finding Emo.
They're making a new Alien movie.
There are so many aliens you can't keep track.
Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."
Make him read a book.
One dollar bill is with a five dollar bill. The five says, "I make more cents than you."
How does Moses make his tea?
He Brews!!!
What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.
It's really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.
This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).
What do you call a magician that makes beer? Brew-dini?
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money, and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money.
Bartender says you gotta do 3 tasks. He takes the shot of Jack, and the customer says, "What are the tasks?" He says, "The 1st one is, well the 1st 1 is, I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth, and you gotta pull it." He says, "All right, what's the 2nd 1?" He said, "I got a big old girl upstairs that ain't had no loving in a long time, you gotta make her smile." He takes another shot of Jack. He said, "All right, what's the 3rd 1?" He said, "You see that horse outside, you gotta make him laugh and cry."
Guy goes upstairs, goes out back, comes out to the front, comes back in. The other customer said, "Give him the jar." The guy says, "I took care of that lady's tooth, and I made that alligator smile."
"Well how'd you make the horse laugh?" he said. "Easy, I told him I had a bigger deck then him."
Bartender says, "How did you make him cry?" He said, "Easy, I showed him."
Donald Trump is making hospitals so poor that they are using kidney beans for their transplants.
Once a man goes to a restaurant. Then, he was waiting until the waitress comes and tells him that they don't have food.
He was grumpy, but the waitress make him relaxing by unbuttoning her pants and undressing her panties and uncovering clothes from her pussy until everything get striped, then she say to him: "Good meal."
Daughter: So, I got my period.
Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!
Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?
Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.
Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)
Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)