Life's like a dick. Women make it hard for no reason.
Make Jokes
Which band doesn’t make music?
One Direction.
You make the juice go through my power brick.
Make a wish kid: I want to meet Mac Miller.
Make a wish staff: You will soon, chief.
How many babies does it take to make dinner?
Three to four; there's not a lot of meat on them.
A man and his friend walk into a bar on a 30-story building and order a drink of beer. Then one of the men jumps out the window and he can fly, so he says to his mate, "Gary, take a sip of this drink, it makes you fly!" So Gary takes a sip of the drink, jumps out the window, and dies. And the bartender says, "Gee, Superman, you're a douche when you drink!"
A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.
To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."
He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.
Man: I'm here for the job interview.
Employer: Oh good, good. Sit down. We don't get many people for the interviews.
Man: Just anywhere?
Employer: Yeah, make yourself comfortable. Jackson, right?
Man: Yeah, that's me.
(Shakes hands and sits back down)
Employer: So what makes you eligible for the job, Jackson?
Man: Well, I'm really good at capturing the perfect shot and angle. It really takes dedication to do this type of job. Concentration and willpower, sir.
Employer: I like you already, you're hired!
Man: Wow, thanks, sir. I know I won't do you wrong. I'll work hard for this job!
Employer: You start now! Your first person is a man named John F Kennedy.
Man: What? You want me to just take pictures of him during the parade?
Employer: No.
Man: This... This is a photography job, right?
Employer: No... this is a job employment for man hunting.
Bible Verse of The Day - For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.
—Romans 8:15-16
How do Chinese people get their names? Their parents throw woks down the stairs and name their children after the sound it makes.
You're so ugly you make gay/lesbian people straight!
How do you make a plumber cry?
Break his pipes...
My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"
So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.
I went, I saw, I poop at hole. I make a portal.
The orphans all died!!!
Oh wait, no one cares...
Their parents are all dead anyway. We are just making them happier. They get to join their parents in hell.
When the school shooter makes the emo kid hang himself and the autistic kid thinks it's a piñata: 🤪🏏
Why did I make this joke?
Because I love jokes!
Why are you censoring my friend Franz? He's just making jokes, but you admins get offended too easily, f*cktards!
How do you make a blond snowman? You can't, you have to hollow out the head.
Why did Stephen Hawking make it to heaven?
He couldn't make it up the stairs.
