Make jokes
What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?
Afterbirth.
How do you make a baby cry? You run over it with a lawn mower.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
All these jokes make me laugh to death 💀.
Make America hate again.
What’s pink, nine inches, and makes my wife cry when I shove it down her throat?
Her Miscarriage.
Husband: "Honey, I just bought these special Olympic-style condoms!"
Wife: "Olympic-style condoms? What makes them so special?"
Husband: "They come in three colors: gold, silver, and bronze."
Wife: "Ooh, sweet. What color are you going to wear tonight?"
Husband: "Gold, of course!"
Wife: "Why don't you wear silver? It would be nice if you came second for a change."
Who is the Hamburglar's perverted cousin?
The Turdburglar.
You really do not want to see the mess these two make of the washrooms in a fast food joint.
I was making holy water, and my girlfriend walked in, saying, "What are you doing?"
I said, "Making holy water."
She said, "How are you making holy water?"
I'm boiling the hell out of it.
I am starting a business where I help people count. It is called making the little things count.
Why can't white people post jokes about making fun of black people, but black people can post jokes about making fun of white people?
Because white people have white privilege.
This is the song we all misunderstood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S0QhGGO1gQ
"He said, "One day, you'll leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember." My father told me when I was just a child, "These are the nights that never die." My father told me."
Whenever I think about it deeply, it makes me wanna cry :(
What did the Indians say to the Arabs? "We are going to make 10/12!"
The teacher asked the class what sound does a cow make? "Mooo," said Sally. "Good job," said the teacher. "What sound does a sheep make?" "Baa," said Jack. "Good, now what sound does a pig make?" Little Johnny raised his hand really high in the sky. The teacher called on him. He said, "The pig says, 'Get on the ground and put your hands on your head, you black motherfucker.'"
The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”
Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”
So the Pope slapped him.
Stop making these stop jokes. I'm running out of laugh gas.
I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
How to make time fly?
Answer: Throw a clock out of the window.
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.
Why can't two Asians make a white baby?
Because two wongs don't make a white.