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This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom. He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store". But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19 yr old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?". Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing." Johnny says, "Oh." "But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"

(Santa winks at you)

my pal ased me why no body wants to eat the spaghetti he make in his restaurent welp,because it's impastable

How can you tell if google is a girl? It makes suggestions before you finish your sentence

Why do New Yorkers get what Spider-Man is saying?

Because he always makes spider-sense.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I had to share a table recently with a disabled man when I asked him for the salt and pepper, he had to make two trips.

[god creating sharks] god: ok give them 3 rows of teeth. Angel: seems excessive but ok. God: and make them mean as hell. Angel: wtf y. God: BECAUSSE I SAID SO. Angel:.... god: and make one of the types have a hammer for a head angel: why do I still work for you? God: because I’m the only employer as of right now.

This the song we all misunderstood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S0QhGGO1gQ

"He said one day, you'll leave this world behind. So live a life you will remember. My father told me when I was just a child, these are the nights that never die. My father told me."

Whenever I think about it deeply it makes me wanna cry :(

A father of five puts on gas mask and a hazard suit, and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked "Dad, what are you wearing?". The father would answer with "A costume for Halloween.". the child asked "can i join?". He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. *after that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.