Make jokes
When people make accounts about you and a category.
I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."
The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-d.
Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?
What did the train made of glue make?
GLUE GLUUUUUUUUUUUE!
There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.
Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"
Why don't Jedis make puns that often?
They usually have to force them. (I hate myself for that!)
Why do girls wear classic rock T-shirts? Because they are stupid little bitches who need to grow some fashion sense because wearing old shit doesn't make you unique.
What do Nike and the KKK have in common?
They both make Black people run faster.
What does "A" say to "ss"?
"We are the perfect couple. We make Ass."
My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.
She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!
Why did the beans fuck the mum to make bouncing beans?
My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.
You must be a Charmander. Because you’re making me hot.
Pokemon.
Me: *makes Chuck Norris meme*
Internet: *all the other memes are dead now*
Me: Well, shit.
Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.
Charlene's hairline was so big that Joe Biden could not make it prime minister.
Wife: (on phone) Hi. Husband: Hey, I didn’t know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.
I said to my girlfriend nothing can ever make you look ugly...
Because you already look ugly.
I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.