Make jokes

How do you make a body disappear?

You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!

P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.

Yo mama is so fat that Naruto couldn't make enough shadow clones to surround her.

What makes laissez-faire and a gangbang the same?

Not my problem.

A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"

A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"

Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?

Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.

Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?

Milk makes you tall, right?

Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?

So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.

What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?

They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.

What makes Mrs. Grape 🍇 a good mother?

Raisin' her kids!

I make phones for orphans. Sadly, it has no home button.

Doctor, what is wrong with me?

You will never be able to walk again. It ain't like with me on the field it would make the Miami Dolphins any better.

I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.

What type of bee can't make up his mind?

A maybe.

You must be a Charmander. Because you’re making me hot.

Pokemon.

I hate long plants. They make me Ivysaur. Hahahahahahaha Pokemon!

I'm making a website for orphans. [I] won't add the home page.

Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."

Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.

So I threw a coconut at her.

You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.

Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.

But at least lemonade came out!

How do you make an emo mad at you?

Cut the rope.