Make jokes

What makes laissez-faire and a gangbang the same?

Not my problem.

Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?

Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.

Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?

A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"

A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"

Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."

Yo mama is so fat that Naruto couldn't make enough shadow clones to surround her.

What makes Mrs. Grape 🍇 a good mother?

Raisin' her kids!

So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.

Why can't orphans go to a friend's house?

Because they can't make themselves at home.

I make phones for orphans. Sadly, it has no home button.

Milk makes you tall, right?

Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?

What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?

They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.

Doctor, what is wrong with me?

You will never be able to walk again. It ain't like with me on the field it would make the Miami Dolphins any better.

In this modern age, I feel as though it's inappropriate to make jokes about herbs and fish.

It's not the thyme or the plaice for it.

My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.

They were both druids.

Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?

So he could make a clean getaway!

Guys, put more comments in.

We are so close to beating the world record for most comments on this website, and the record is 171.

What goes up and down and does not move?

Stairs.

There is a similarity between my wallet and an onion.

They always make me cry.

I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.

911 help. Hello?

Never mind, forget it. You're so stupid 😡😡😡😡😏