Make jokes

How do you make a body disappear?

You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!

P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.

What type of bee can't make up his mind?

A maybe.

I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.

What makes jokes because it's lonely and a complete and utter loser?

This guy, yep, this guy right here.

What makes Mrs. Grape 🍇 a good mother?

Raisin' her kids!

I make phones for orphans. Sadly, it has no home button.

Why can't orphans go to a friend's house?

Because they can't make themselves at home.

Milk makes you tall, right?

Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?

What is hard to find but easy to make?

An orphan.

So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.

Yo mama is so fat that Naruto couldn't make enough shadow clones to surround her.

What makes laissez-faire and a gangbang the same?

Not my problem.

Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?

Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.

Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?

A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"

A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"

Tried making 9/11 jokes, but none of it kept falling apart.

What did the two towers make after they died? The One World Trade Center.

They say mistakes make you stronger. If that were true, then whoever made that nonexistent thing called “women's rights” would have muscles bigger than a white girl.

How do you make an emo jump? Tell him to go to the roof.

I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.

Your hairline is so far back, it makes the Giant from Clash of Clans jealous!