Make jokes

What did the white baby say to his Chinese parents?

"Two wongs don’t make a white."

Are you a razor? 'Cause you make me red.

Why do asscheeks make great friends?

They always stick together!

I just overheard this but:

How do you make a party in space?

You planet.

You're so ugly, when you put makeup on, it makes you look like a clown.

I was making a coffee for my boss and this was the supposed recipe:

1 egg 1 tomato diced bell peppers a bag of sugar sea salt coffee beans rusted nails.

I got fired and spent the next 20 years in prison with a dude named Papa Bear.

One time, I was making a caramel apple.

When I mistook 1 gallon of caramel for 1 camel!

Your hairline goes so far back, your mom is scared you're not going to make friends.

Anyone who makes fun of Prof should go to hell.

Hey! Some idiot drew a cat on this pillar! Wait... does that make it a caterpillar?

My friend: Yo stupid.

Me: Is that right, and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?

My friend: *rolls eyes and says whatever.*

Me: Keep on rolling them, you might find your brain in there.

I can make a living with the "Treat Yo self" budget.

Yet I can’t use the "Help yo self" budget.

Ever wondered how Jesus got rid of the cross that killed him?

Burned it in a hellish fire to make some firewood.

I was going to make a bulimia joke, but suddenly it just felt so empty.

I took my pony to the vet because I thought he was making a funny noise when he neighed. The vet said everything was okay and he was just a little horse.

I tried to get into an emo bar, but I didn't make the cut.

When prostitutes misbehave, do their pimps make them stand out on the corner with a "For Rent" sign on their crotch?

I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)

True story: In 1986, in the midst of the HIV epidemic, they made condoms available to the public. At that time, me and my boyfriend were 13 years old. My boyfriend was so happy: "These will make great water balloons!" And I was even happier. I did not have to pack a lunch for school tomorrow, lol.

Two muffins are sitting in a bar.

The first muffin says to the bartender, "I'll have the usual."

The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans, and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human-like structure, muffins lack brains, which are an essential part of being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also, with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak, thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.