Make jokes
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
They can never make it home.
And together we will make America great again.
You were never great in the first place.
Q: What does a special ed student do when he wants to buy his first car?
A: Makes a Down payment.
Now why an office supply keep rape videos, to make sure it was on tape?
Scratches on an icy road and kills 50 people on the bus, and when they get to Heaven, God feels so bad for them and grants them all one wish.
The first lady in the line was always worried about her looks, so she wished to be beautiful, and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to wish about, so he also wished to be beautiful. This kept on going, but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh. When he got to God, God says, “What is your one wish, my son?” He said, “I wish you can make them all ugly again.”
I would like to make a Minecraft joke...
It would be too plain.
Treon: I don't care about Vorkie.
Amber: You should, she could be a great person for the company.
Treon: We don't need another one, we got 100 people in here, no need. Now, Amber, please just go make yourself useful.
Amber: Fine!!!!!
What comment did the United States Senator Kamla Harris make when one of her 64% blue dog democrat constituents called her incompetent?
"Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits!"
The 10 cents said to the 1 cent, "Haha, I make more cents than you!"
W2S, you stinky, stanky fad. Seeing your disstracks really makes me wanna fap.
What makes Squidward and a Quandale Dingle the same?
They both got them big parts.
What does Finn Wolfhard do when he makes a good joke?
He drops the Mike.
Why do rappers make great fishermen?
They always have the best HOOKS.
Three construction workers were sitting on the bridge that they were building, having their lunch break. The first guy says, "If I get a Vegemite sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The second guy says, "If I get a peanut butter sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The third guy says, "If I get another strawberry jam sandwich, then I am going to jump off this bridge." The next day, the first guy gets a Vegemite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich, and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All three guys jump off the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals, the first wife says, "If he just told me, I would have given him a different sandwich." The second guy's wife says, "It is all my fault. If only I knew." The third wife says, "I don't get it, he makes his own lunch."
Here's a tip for cow tipping from TheRussianBadger.
"So if you see Otis from Barnyard, make sure you blast his ass from a distance!"
Why are dildos like a ratcheting wrench? They both make lots of noise and get their job done.
9/11 is not funny. It's just plane disrespectful to make fun of it.
Every time I make a 9/11 joke, it bombs.
One day at school, Little Johnny and his friends were asked to do a sheet of paper which said, “Put a matching word from the word bank into the slot in the sentence that makes it make sense.” But when the teacher marked Little Johnny's papers, she asked why he put the word "bank" in every slot. And he says, “Well teacher, you said to put a word from the word bank and that's one word! So I had no choice but to put down that word!”
What should I write a joke about? Name the subject, and I’ll make a joke about it.