What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?
"It will be over soon."
I don't like these Undertale jokes. They just don't make any sense.
Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.
Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.
I don't understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy. It usually takes me days.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? -- You make a seizure salad.
Q: You want to know why I don’t make jokes about 9/11?
A: They tend to crash and burn.
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
Are you enjoying my yolks? I bet they're making you crack up. If not, I better scramble.
I want to make a joke about Kobe, but it won't land well.
Little Johnny is walking around and peeks in his parents' room, catching them having sex. So he asks, "What are you guys doing?" and they reply, "Nothing, nothing! We're just, uh, making cake," and they send him away.
So he continues walking around, and he hears some strange noises coming from his brother's room. He walks in and catches his brother and his brother's girlfriend having sex and then asks him, "What are you guys doing?" and his brother yells, "Get out! We're making cake!"
So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says, "So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night, huh?" and she replies, "OMG! How'd you know!?" and Johnny replies, "Because I licked the icing off the couch."
What's the same about "Make a Wish Program" and "Dark Jokes"?
They never get old.
How do you make someone in Africa disappointed?
Sing "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head."
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten tickles.
I make science puns, but only periodically.
Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.
The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "Johnny, do you pray before you eat?" Little Johnny says, "I don't need to, my mum makes good food."
What kind of bees make milk?
BooBees.
My black friend told me to stop making racist jokes...
...I told him to lighten up.
My sister thinks she's so smart, she said onions are the only food that makes you cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
