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Disabled

I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! After all, they can't even stand up for themselves.

  • 2
  • Mess

    Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.

    Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.

    Grave

    I don't understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy. It usually takes me days.

    9/11

    Q: You want to know why I don’t make jokes about 9/11?

    A: They tend to crash and burn.

  • 5
  • Africa

    How do you make someone in Africa disappointed?

    Sing "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head."

    Egg

    Are you enjoying my yolks? I bet they're making you crack up. If not, I better scramble.

    Cake

    Little Johnny is walking around and peeks in his parents' room, catching them having sex. So he asks, "What are you guys doing?" and they reply, "Nothing, nothing! We're just, uh, making cake," and they send him away.

    So he continues walking around, and he hears some strange noises coming from his brother's room. He walks in and catches his brother and his brother's girlfriend having sex and then asks him, "What are you guys doing?" and his brother yells, "Get out! We're making cake!"

    So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says, "So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night, huh?" and she replies, "OMG! How'd you know!?" and Johnny replies, "Because I licked the icing off the couch."

    Charity

    What's the same about "Make a Wish Program" and "Dark Jokes"?

    They never get old.

    Friend

    My black friend told me to stop making racist jokes...

    ...I told him to lighten up.

    Neighbor

    Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.

    The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"

    Mom

    My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.

    Food

    Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "Johnny, do you pray before you eat?" Little Johnny says, "I don't need to, my mum makes good food."

    Coconut

    My sister thinks she's so smart, she said onions are the only food that makes you cry.

    So I threw a coconut at her.