Make jokes

I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.

I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"

He gave me a book.

It was the Quran.

I said, "What the hell is that?"

He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."

Alright, I'm gonna make like a tree and leaf.

*****You have to leave right after you tell this joke.****

Explain Bear teaches us that explaining the joke makes it a billion times funnier.

What does the ocean do to its friends?

It waves.

(*Sorry I wasn't making any jokes for a while, I was getting sick of this thing.*)

Your forehead's so big, Jupiter's moons look up to it.

If you shined a light on it, it would reflect and be a star in the Andromeda galaxy.

Your forehead's so big, it's the main foundation for the wall of China.

Your forehead's so big, it makes up half of the Milky Way's mass.

Your forehead's the reason why the Earth still spins.

A handicapped person was making fun of me, so I walked away.

If there was a zombie apocalypse, girls would make a "forehead apocalypse" since it is so big.

The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.

The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”

Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”

So the Pope slapped him.

What do you call 2 emos making out in a science classroom?

My Chemical Romance.

I don't like making Kobe jokes... they always crash and burn.

I forgot you can't make depression jokes outside of Twitter, lmao. My coworker was like, "You ready for this year to be over?"

I was like, "I'm ready for this life to be over." He was like, "Bro, what?"

A man and his friend walk into a bar on a 30-story building and order a drink of beer. Then one of the men jumps out the window and he can fly, so he says to his mate, "Gary, take a sip of this drink, it makes you fly!" So Gary takes a sip of the drink, jumps out the window, and dies. And the bartender says, "Gee, Superman, you're a douche when you drink!"

This is the song we all misunderstood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S0QhGGO1gQ

"He said, "One day, you'll leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember." My father told me when I was just a child, "These are the nights that never die." My father told me."

Whenever I think about it deeply, it makes me wanna cry :(

I make phones for orphans. Sadly, it has no home button.

Never trust a Justin, he is made up of atoms that make up everything.

Why do orphans make terrible baseball players?

They don't know where home plate is.

I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"

What goes up and down and does not move?

Stairs.

How many shades of gray does it take to make a dirty movie?

50.

Why is everyone trying to make a big deal out of this? My family were only flying to Pakistan and crashed into 2 towers.