Make jokes
Make an ugly face in 3, 2... STOP! OMG, STOP! EWWWWW! Oh wait, that’s your normal face.
I make weed disappear, what's your superpower?
Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you’re making me hard.
Director: Hi, we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie.
Actor: Really? What do I do?
Director: You will play the part of the cliff. (holds up hanging rope)
I'd make a joke about corn, but it's too corny.
Then again, I could make a joke about eyes, but that would be even cornea. My funny bone is broken. I guess it was because those jokes were too humerus.
What do you call someone who makes a joke about society?
The Joker.
I thought about making a necrophilia joke, but I knew it would be a DOA.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't make it to home plate.
I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
Why can black people post offensive jokes about making fun of white people, but white people can't post offensive jokes about making fun of black people? Because white people have white privilege. What happened to freedom of speech?
Well, I was gonna make a joke about drunk people, but that would be good for the health.
What do you call two Mexicans playing 1v1 basketball?
One on one! Just think about it. It makes sense.
What are two plus sides to being an orphan?
1. All your snacks are family sized.
2. No one can make jokes about your mama.
Why didn't the koala make the football team? Because it got diskoalafied!
"Don’t be dumb, make sure she’s numb."
- Bill Cosby
How do you make a child’s parents happy?
Put the child to sleep.
What do you call a person who keeps making jokes about rappers?
An annoying prick whose black dad left him as a kid.
Why do blondes make bad bank robbers?
Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"