Husband: I bet you can't say something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time Wife: You have the biggest penis out of all your friends
Chuck Norris can make 5 minute frosting in 4 minutes.
One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What is 6 inches long and makes women scream? Stillbirth...
I told kids to make a family tree. God, I love working at the orphanages.
They said I was depressed, I should make an effort to do what I love. I had to pay a hooker for, twelve hours work. ... I felt nothing, but its was nice, being with someone who felt the same.
If I was a history teacher I’d make the two twins stand up and throw a paper airplane at them
How do woman make you a millionaire?
When your a billionaire.
Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?" His mother replies "to make myself beautiful Johnny." A few minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her "What is the matter? Are you giving up?"
guy spills milk on a me i say " it's OK we all make mistakes sometimes but apparently your mom made a big one
A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul walker and no one else
Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him
How are giants and strippers alike? They both grind men's bones to make their bread.
Make this "joke" get 69 comments & 69 likes
-the emo went 2 give the tree a high 5 but the emo was left hanging - how did the gay person die? homocide -why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? he was cutting in line - when does a joke turn into a dad joke? when it leaves and never comes back -I cried when my dad chopped onions. onions was such a good dog -I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away -how is the person over there different the cancer? his dad didn't beat cancer
I hope u like this it took 5 minutes to make. what's_up also has good jokes to favorite him/her/them plz
So little johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.
If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!
If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!
And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:
Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?
Little johnny smiled and said: A bus driver!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why can’t Indians play football...... cause every time they take a corner they make a shop
How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?
Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.
Why do Orphans play Sims? because they can make themselves a family
