Make Jokes

People keep telling me that I should stop making sh jokes.. bro it's not that deep

communist jokes suck ... unless everyone gets them.

I won't reply on every jokes today because I want to say thanks (to everyone) for making funny jokes here... Every time I have a bad day (almost everyday), I always go here and read relatable jokes, its makes me happy and its making me less anxious. I am really stressed on my school works and everything, I feel that I'm being left alone. Everyone compares me to others and all I can do is listen. I don't get enough sleep because of it... Reading these jokes entertain me and making me laugh so hard. *I apologize for my grammar

How does Jesus make tea?

Hebrews it.

I'm a Model. my doctor asked me to make an acronym for POST because I post pictures on Instagram. (Trying to) P-ut O-ff Suicidal T-houghts

I was talking to this absolutely gorgeous woman, and I asked her, “what do you do?” And she said, “I’m a brain surgeon.” And I don’t know if this makes me sexist or not, but I was really impressed. Most women can’t pull off sarcasm

My Xbox has been acting up lately...

So I painted it black to make it run faster

I don’t like making jokes about 9/11, my grandad died in it, he was the greatest pilot I ever knew

[God creating spiders] God: make it have 8 legs Angel: ok? bit excessive but ok God: and 8 eyes Angel: You need to calm down and li- God: give it a butt rope

Did you hear that Joe contracted Sugondese Ligma on his trip to Suggon and now he won’t be able to make it to Saw Con

“Don’t be dumb,make sure she’s numb” - bill cosby

My husband told me to make him a sandwich. I was looking online for some comebacks. Someone online said You better comeback with a goddamn sandwich

Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.

you so flat you make pancakes look thiccc

You know, people should really stop making fun of 911....both my parents died.

One driving one plane, and the other driving the other.

I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! after all, they can't even stand up for themselves

Teacher:"What is the opposite of the following sentence: 'Children in the dark make mistakes'?" Student:"Mistakes in the dark make children"

How do you make it hard for a rapist who is trying rape you? Rub it

**** (A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him ... everyone else in the room stops to listen): Man : Hello? Woman : Hi honey, it's me. Are you at the club? Man : Yes. Woman : I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man : Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman : I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man : How much? Woman : $90,000. Man : Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman : Great! Oh, and one more thing ... I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market ... they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man : I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman : OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man : I love you to. **** (The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.) The man turns around and says : “Anyone know whose phone this is”?