Make a jokes
Did you know Disney is making a movie for suicidal people?
They're calling it Finding Emo.
I would make a joke about Silver the Hedgehog... but it's no use!
They're making a new Alien movie.
There are so many aliens you can't keep track.
What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
I have a better version of this joke.
How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.
So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.
I was doing a magic show. I tried to make a bunny disappear, but it didn’t work.
I walked outside in shame. I looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!
One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.
She asked me, "What are you doing?"
I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."
She asked, "What does that mean?"
I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
I wanted to make a joke about dandruff.
People are still scratching their heads over it.
What makes a raccoon 🦝 very rich?
Its rings!
Daughter: So, I got my period.
Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!
Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?
Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.
Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)
Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)
How do you know if you're making a Caesar salad? Stabbing it 23 times.
How do you make a snooker table laugh? Tickle its balls!
Person one: What did the DJ name his son?
Person two: IDK, what?
Person one: Erik (while making a DJ motion).
He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?
She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?
I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.
What's it called when a Black person makes a joke? A joke, you racist.
JK, dark humor.
(First Person): Knock knock, who's there? (2nd Person): Lemme talk to you, when we finna slide, what we finna do, knock knock, who's there, time to make a move, slayin' all then demons and we gotta move in too.
(Second Person): Knock knock, (1st p): who's there, let me talk to you, be careful where you steppin' out cause you ain't bullet proof, knock knock, who's there? time to make a move, block is full of shooters, and they didn't come to hoop.