Make a jokes

What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?

Afterbirth.

Tonight I'm making a fort. I'm calling it Fortnite.

My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help me understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So, me with my horrible humor, decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around, and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, "Here you are, a fine African meal." Then everybody looked at me in disappointment, and then I continued to say, "What? Poor taste?"

A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says, "Sir, are you a gambling man?"

The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."

"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."

The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."

The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."

"I am. But the steaks are too high."

I would make a joke about Silver the Hedgehog... but it's no use!

Make a wish.

Kid: I don't want to go to Disney World, I just want to keep living my life.

Make a Wish Staff: Get the F*** out!

How do you make a plumber cry?

You kill his family.

I tried to make a necrophilia joke, but it was dead in the water.

Yo mama so fat that when she sits, she makes a 7.4 earthquake.

I'm making a website for orphans. [I] won't add the home page.

I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.

What will make a depressed teenager happy?

A cliff.

I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."

How do you make a baby astronaut sleep?

You rock-it!

So, I was watching YouTube, and then my friend says, "Those videos never get old." I replied, "Just like a Make-A-Wish kid." After I said that, he shot me in the head and said, "And now neither do you." Now I’m in Heaven, and God says to me, "Welcome to Paradise where it is summer days, clear skies," and I said, "Are there summer women?" Now here I am in Hell with my buddy Hitler. I believe he’s a hero after he killed Hitler.

For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.

That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!

Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.

Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.

How many shades of gray does it take to make a dirty movie?

50.

My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I'll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.

My favorite place to make a bonfire? Orphanages, of course, silly!