Make a jokes
I was doing a magic show. I tried to make a bunny disappear, but it didn’t work.
I walked outside in shame. I looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!
What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.
I would make a joke about Silver the Hedgehog... but it's no use!
What makes a raccoon 🦝 very rich?
Its rings!
I have a better version of this joke.
How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.
One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.
She asked me, "What are you doing?"
I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."
She asked, "What does that mean?"
I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
I wanted to make a joke about dandruff.
People are still scratching their heads over it.
How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?
I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.
Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.
Did you know Disney is making a movie for suicidal people?
They're calling it Finding Emo.
They're making a new Alien movie.
There are so many aliens you can't keep track.
Daughter: So, I got my period.
Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!
Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?
Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.
Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)
Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)
How do you know if you're making a Caesar salad? Stabbing it 23 times.
How do you make a snooker table laugh? Tickle its balls!
I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.
Person one: What did the DJ name his son?
Person two: IDK, what?
Person one: Erik (while making a DJ motion).
He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?
She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?
What's it called when a Black person makes a joke? A joke, you racist.
JK, dark humor.
(First Person): Knock knock, who's there? (2nd Person): Lemme talk to you, when we finna slide, what we finna do, knock knock, who's there, time to make a move, slayin' all then demons and we gotta move in too.
(Second Person): Knock knock, (1st p): who's there, let me talk to you, be careful where you steppin' out cause you ain't bullet proof, knock knock, who's there? time to make a move, block is full of shooters, and they didn't come to hoop.