Make a jokes

What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?

Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.

Why did the Asian parents have an Asian baby?

Two wongs don't make a white.

What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?

They both make a sound when thrown.

I want to make a joke about Kobe, but it won't land well.

Yo mama so fat that when she sits, she makes a 7.4 earthquake.

Director: Hi, we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie.

Actor: Really? What do I do?

Director: You will play the part of the cliff. (holds up hanging rope)

I'm gonna make a documentary about meth-addicted prostitutes.

I think I'll call it "Whores on Ice."

Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is, "Dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."

What does an orphan say after a kid makes a "yo mama" joke?

"I don’t have a mama."

In the beginning of the 20th century, a young girl called Edit left her home country of Sweden and crossed the Ocean to make a new life in America. Unfortunately, it did not go all that well, and she soon found herself homeless, begging for food or money to survive.

She used to occupy a street next to a theater, not because it meant hefty handouts, but because it was a place where no other beggars or police bothered her. Every night, a new crowd came to see a show, and the cute young girl found just enough mercy to survive. In fact, she did so well that she decided to afford herself a small piece of cake every Tuesday, just to keep her spirits up.

One Tuesday, she could not get a break. Looked like she will go without cake this week. Then, a strange-looking gentleman stopped near her. He soon heard her story and decided to share his fortune.

Gentleman: "I work as a magician in the touring show; today, we performed here. Some nights, our guests want to gamble with us afterwards, and I make sure to bring home more than I came with. I try to keep it moderate, but today, this obnoxious drunk was loaded, so I emptied his pockets. Here, take this precious coin."

Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?

Because you need to planet.

Why did the cat cross the road?

To make a catastrophy on the road.

For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.

That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!

The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it.

I was going to make a rape joke, but I don’t think you would’ve given me consent.

What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?

They both got a 10% survival rate...

What did Jessiey do?

Jump and make a explosionnnnnnnn, heyyyy gas!

I will make a funny joke if you let me be your boyfriend. I'm 19 and I am Russian.

What do you call a singer who can't make a song?

Taylor Swift.

I'd make a joke about the chin bones, but y'all couldn't mandle it.