Make a Jokes

I am about to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it.

How do you make a pink Smurf?

You peel the skin off.

I'd make a joke about corn, but it's too corny.

Then again, I could make a joke about eyes, but that would be even cornea. My funny bone is broken. I guess it was because those jokes were too humerus.

Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."

The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.

The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.

The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.

My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I'll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.

Make a wish kid: I want to meet Mac Miller.

Make a wish staff: You will soon, chief.

I would make a disabled joke.

But they never work.

I was trying to make a joke about fighting, but I couldn't come up with a good punchline.

If I make a summer camp for kids with concentration problems, will it be a "Concentration Camp"?

Three people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from, but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free."

When God created women, it was an accident. He meant to make a man, but then "WHOA-MAN!!"

How many shades of gray does it take to make a dirty movie?

50.

Wait, isn't this Sans' job to make a joke?

Bosses are like seagulls.

They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.

My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!

I was going to make a 9/11 joke, but I'm afraid it will crash and burn.

I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.

My reverse psychologist told me I didn't have it in me to make a recovery.

I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren't that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."

The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."

The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."

And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."

The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them.

The guy from France said, "For France!" And drank the poison and died.

The man from Britain said, "Long live the queen!" And shot himself and died.

And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, "Make a canoe out of this, you fuckers!"