Love

Love jokes

Lie

    • A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”

    “Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.

    “Let me start,” says the son.

    “Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.

    “I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.

    “Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.

    “Your right!” He replies.

    “I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”

    “Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.

    “The lie is the second on,” says the dad.

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    • Number

    • I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the 💕 love of your life!💕

    And the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!!

    Comment those numbers to lock it in!!😄

    Orphan

    • Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

    Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.

    Love memes

    Mate

    • Ol' Mate Shane Warne has sadly passed away. He was probably Australia's Greatest Ever Cricketer. RIP Ol' Mate Warney, died doing what you loved, having gay sex with men and doing cocaine! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

    Like if you RIP Shane Warne 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺

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    • Teacher

    • I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."

    Marriage

    • A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.

    The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.

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    • Orphanage

    • So, I was walking around the outside of the building and I saw a kid and asked, "Where's your parents?" I love working at the orphanage.

    Kid

    • Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?

    Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!

    Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?

    Kid 2: No!

    Santa

    • Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.

    He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.

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    • Butcher

    • "I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.

    "That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"

    "I'm a butcher," he says.

    Lean

    • Sippin' on promethazine With lean, I fell in love.

    I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup.

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