Love

Love jokes

Accident

    • So one time I was looking up the definition of "accident" because I was a little dumbo and didn’t know what it meant. Then my sister walks up behind me and points at the word and says, “That’s you!” (meaning that I was an accident).

    A few minutes later, we had a big family meeting and my dad said to my sister, “Sweetie, you were an accident. We didn’t mean to make you, but we still love you with everything we’ve got.”

    My sister never talked to me again and left the house. She was 17 when she left. Seriously, 17-year-olds just never mature, huh?

    Bar

    • A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money, and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money.

    Bartender says you gotta do 3 tasks. He takes the shot of Jack, and the customer says, "What are the tasks?" He says, "The 1st one is, well the 1st 1 is, I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth, and you gotta pull it." He says, "All right, what's the 2nd 1?" He said, "I got a big old girl upstairs that ain't had no loving in a long time, you gotta make her smile." He takes another shot of Jack. He said, "All right, what's the 3rd 1?" He said, "You see that horse outside, you gotta make him laugh and cry."

    Guy goes upstairs, goes out back, comes out to the front, comes back in. The other customer said, "Give him the jar." The guy says, "I took care of that lady's tooth, and I made that alligator smile."

    "Well how'd you make the horse laugh?" he said. "Easy, I told him I had a bigger deck then him."

    Bartender says, "How did you make him cry?" He said, "Easy, I showed him."

  • 3

    • Orphan

    • Why did the orphan not have a girlfriend?

    Because he thought that she would leave him too.

  • 5

    • Rose

    • Roses are red, life has no meaning, voices in my head, are constantly screaming.

  • 6
    • Love memes

    Friend

    • Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.

    Autism

    • Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.

    Preschool

    • In preschool, I confessed my love to my crush, and she rejected me. As heartbroken as I was, I sucked it up and went back to teaching.

  • 1

    • Cheese

    • What did one cheese say to the other cheese?

    "Hello, it's a nice day, do you have any plans on what you're going to do?"... The other cheese was taken back by his politeness and friendliness, they agreed to meet again, and were soon married and lived happily ever after. Let this tale of the two cheeses inspire you to be a better person.

    Bread

    • My mom is the jelly, and my dad is the peanut butter. And I am the bread, the only thing keeping them together.

  • 6

    • Job

    • There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.

  • 3

    • Lava

    • "Me lava you sooo much, cutie cake. I know I'm so so so cuteee. Lava you girl... ummmma ummmaaa. I know where you liveee kutty."