My career is worth more than your adoption.
I love telling jokes about orphans. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
One afternoon, a man was walking to a bar after work. Across the street, an Irish nun stood there waving her arms at the man. "Look at this poor drunkard! The Lord does not love him! He will be sent to Hell!" the nun shouted.
The man walked over to the nun. "Hey! I had a hard day at work! I was going to get ONE beer! Have you ever even tried a drink before?" the man asked. The nun looked down and shook her head. "Well, if you tried it, you would probably like it! Would you want to try something?" the man asked. The nun replied, "Okay, only one thing."
"What would you like?" asked the man. He offered her beer and whiskey, but she declined. "How about a little gin?" the man concluded. "Okay, sure. But, can you ask them to put it in a mug so people don't see what I'm drinking?" asked the nun.
"Fine," the man walks into the bar and waves to the bartender. "Hey, can I have a bottle of beer and a bit of gin? Also, can that be in a mug?" asked the man. The bartender looked up, with fury in his eyes. "Don't tell me that damn nun is out there again!" the bartender said.
I asked the orphan why he was crying. He didn't really say anything.
Then I asked where are your parents? He cried more. I love working at the orphanage.
I want to be loved
Why do orphans love drinking water? Because they have no milk to drink!
What fruit do scarecrows love the most?
Straw-berries.
I love my grandpa, he killed Hitler
Why do orphans love Home Alone?
They like to see a familiar picture.
My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........
IMAGINE!
You know how sometimes you want to listen to music?
But everything you listen to is just supremely unsatisfying, even if it's songs you usually love; they are just so unappealing, and you have no idea what you actually want to listen to.
What game do emo kids love the most? Hangman.
Why do orphans love to play family?
Because it's the closest they will be to being normal.
My forehead so big,
big like Biggie Smalls. I love cock, please bum my hole.
Hi.
My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
I have 206 bones in my body, but when I look at you, I have 207.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"
Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.
Who wants to fight!? Hate?! And pick on each other through the comments.
ANYONE?
My mum's a carrot.
