For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio.
But that’s just me in a nutshell.
Love Jokes
Cashew, see, I'm nuts about you!?
I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder milk.
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
Why do squirrels love dick?
Because it produces nut.
I fell in love with my computer because it helps me Excel.
If anyone can see Alya KUHL please tell me! I love and miss her...
Hey Stacey, love!
Why do dwarfs love penis? It tickles their insides.
Why do orphans love chips?
Because they're all family sized.
What do you and orphans have in common?
Nobody loves you.
What do Joe Biden and orphans have in common?
No one loves them!
Why can't an orphan be in a relationship?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Why do orphans love dogs?
Because dogs stay with them.
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.
Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Her: Awww... Yes!!!
Me: Good, then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.
If there was a girl and a boy and the boy fell, what did the boy do to the girl?
He fell for her.
A man has been dating a girl forever. He finally says, "I love you." The girl says, "Aww, thanks." The man looks at her, "Are you not gonna say it back?" The girl says, "No, I can’t."
Why are orphans very abusive to their kids?
Because they never had loving parents of their own.
Roses are red, life has no meaning, voices in my head, are constantly screaming.
