Lost jokes
Where do you go if you lost a pencil?
Office Works! They have solved loads of pencil cases.
Why does my cheating ex-wife wear a colostomy bag? She lost her ass playing poker...
And to the parents of the lost boy named Timmy, we have found him, and now is your chance to make your escape. He really is a little shit, isn't he?
"Warning, all unsaved progress will be lost." - Sun Tzu, The Art Of War.
Why do Republican men hate transgender people?
Because they lost a dick-measuring contest to a ladyboy in Thailand!
The other day I lost all my crayons.
I just wish I had a shoulder to cray on.
Why couldn’t the dairy farmer find his home? He lost the whey!😅
I've looked everywhere... I just can't seem to find where I left my will to live.
I wanna die cos I lost my horse on Minecraft.
I tried phone sex once, lost my bits to a stray "call waiting" beep. Very painful. Never again.
I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again, but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favorite...
What did I do with the internet?
Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.
When God gives you glory, you give it back.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
Because they’ve already lost 2 towers.
I lost all faith in humanity. I am moving to Uranus; it's really big. I might get lost.
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)
My aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said, "If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or it's useless, throw it away."
The next time my aunt visited, she said, "Where is your daughter?"
My mom said, "I took your advice."
You lost 30 lbs when you joined Weight Watchers, and lost another 10 lbs when they shaved your back.
Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:
Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" 😂😂😂
A 14 year old girl was walking back home late at night, then a man was following her. An hour later, she got back home not only had she lost the stranger, but also her virginity.