Lost Jokes

Girlfriend:I just lost 5 pounds! Me:How many makeup wipes did you need?

i wanna die cos i lost my horse on minecraft

i lost 10000 dollars so i killed my piggy bank so i get a real pig and money which my money is fake but the janitor said it is real so killed myself and turn to a real human.

What did the cow say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

Why can't New your city play chess???

Because they lost 2 towers

Why is England so bad at clash of clans? Because they lost their queen

why cant americans play chess? because they lost their 2 towers

Why are americans bad at clash roylae? because they lost thier 2 towers

I think our destination is under there.

Under where?

How did Steven Hawkins die? He lost internet connection

He lost Wifi connection...

Why did the duck walk across the road I lost my pecker

hi m my name is crappy i like tacos and more tacos and more tacos and more tacos and more tacos and more tacos and ya now GET LOST!

Why does my cheating ex-wife wear a colostomy bag?

She lost her ass playing poker...

at my sample place i handed my wife a fork and i lost my job

So this guy right, he has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog. About 2 weeks after he loses everything he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "what do you mean by 'blowing chunks' ?" says the boss. The man replies with, " Chunks is the name of my dog..."