Lost jokes

I gave up my seat to blind lady because she couldn't find any--let's just say I lost my job as a bus driver.

So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.

About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."

Today; worst day ever.

My annoying sibling got hit by a train, and I lost my job as a conductor.

A man walks into a forest and sees a girl crying. He asks her, "What is wrong?"

She replies, "I lost my family, my friends, and my home."

The man then unties his pants and says, "Then young lady, your day is about to get worse!"

What does the sign say on the hooker house after they were on lockdown?

Answer: "We're on lockdown, get lost pervert."

What do you call a knight that has one arm? A first battle night.

What do you call a knight that lost both arms? A two battle useless knight.

What did the walrus say when they lost the remote?

"Walrus the remote!"

Gwen I set out some chats for us just got to pr!

Btw I can't chat because I lost my internet stuff, so I am using my school computer. I don't have long, but I will make sure to have some time 4 u.

Steven Hawking lost the Wi-Fi connection on March 14, 2018.

The other day I lost all my crayons.

I just wish I had a shoulder to cray on.

What do Nemo and my dad have in common?

They both can't be found.

A 14 year old girl was walking back home late at night, then a man was following her. An hour later, she got back home not only had she lost the stranger, but also her virginity.

What do you say when your pet pig gets lost?

This is a pig problem!

Dad: What did your older brother say before he lost his virginity?

Son: Dad, please don't.

Dad: Exactly.

I lost all faith in humanity. I am moving to Uranus; it's really big. I might get lost.

Girlfriend: I just lost 5 pounds!

Me: How many makeup wipes did you need?

I lost $10,000, so I killed my piggy bank, so I get a real pig and money which my money is fake, but the janitor said it is real, so I killed myself and turned into a real human.

I wanna die cos I lost my horse on Minecraft.

What did the cow say when he lost his tractor?

"Where's my tractor?"

Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?

They already lost two towers.