What did the full glass say to the empty glass? "You look drunk!"
I'm looking for the bartender.
Person named Bart:
A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"
The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."
A telescope has two uses:
1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.
James Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?
Looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?
Don't want to learn the landing part, though, Allah said it's unnecessary.
Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots?
He was picking his nose.
Yo mama so ugly, she looks like a green bean with googly eyes.
Your sister: You're so ugly.
Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?
My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's hairline, even though his ears are so big and his face looks like a monkey... if they were white.
I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.
I found a lot of matches.
wanna hear a joke ? no IM already looking at one
girl ... you are so ugly that when you look in the mirror it shattered : more than your relationship.
Love that dress; it would look much better on my floor, though.
Your forehead is so big it makes Megamind's head look small.
What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?
"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."
I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.
Guys look at the comments omg
What did the floor say to the ceiling?
"I look up to you."
What's the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot A man will actually look for the golf ball
You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."
