Look jokes
How'd the skeleton know it was going to rain? He looked at the weather forecast.
Ever noticed that "lol" looks like a person drowning?
My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.
It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"
Then I start to think I was the problem :(
Just kidding, fuck that asshole!
Memes
I am awesome, look at me!
Your head is so big, it looks like traffic is able to fit on it!
I was sitting in class, and the teacher said he wasn't disappointed in me and my best friend, but not so much in me.
I looked at my best friend and said, "I'm a disappointment to the teacher, too."
Your momma so fat when she stepped on one scale, it broke. When she got another one, it said "TBC." She looked in the mirror, it broke.
Your hairline is so pushed back it looks like Will Smith slapped it back.
I met a baseball player, so I told him to make a home run, and he just looked at me with sadness. I don't know why.
By the way, he was an orphan.
"Hey, look, that plane is getting bigge-"
During Halloween, my friend went as a skeleton.
He refused to go into the haunted house. Looks like he was SPINE-LESS.
Your hairline is like a math expression, there is no solution.
What’s the difference between 69 and High School?
In 69 you usually only kiss one c*nt and look at one a**hole.
Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly.
Bully 2: Look in a mirror.
Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.
Why is the queen in chess the most powerful piece? Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”
The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”
The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!
Where do you find an orphan? Just look for your mum.