Look jokes

You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."

Look for the Gummy Bear album in stores on November 13th, with lots of music, videos, and extras!

James Bond: Vodka martini.

Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.

James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?

What's the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot?

A man will actually look for the golf ball.

Bob the builder took one look at you and said, "Nah, I can’t fix that!"

What did the hamster say to the penis? "Ha, you look just like me!"

What did the floor say to the ceiling?

"I look up to you."

Your forehead is so big it makes Megamind's head look small.

Dad: You’re looking pretty sheepish.

Son: That’s too baaaaaad!

6 looks like someone facing up.

9 looks like someone facing down.

69 looks like 2 people sucking each other's dicks.

What did the cactus look like with his tuxedo on?

Sharp! 🤣

Look - it's the lake of whiz!!!

Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!

Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?

A Scouser at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer-by, "What time is it, mate?"

An American replies, "That's a mad accent, where are you from?"

The Scouser says, "Liverpool."

The American says, "Oh, what state is that in?"

The Scouser looks around and says, "About the same state as this, mate, but what time is it?"

Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!

Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!

The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.

The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?

My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"

A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her mom naked taking a shower and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get breasts?" Mom says, "Oh, when you're 12 or 13." The little girl looks down and see’s her pubes and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get hair down there?" Mom says, "Oh, about the same time you get breasts."

Then the little girl walks in and sees her dad sitting on the bed with a hard on and asks, "Daddy, daddy, when am I gonna get one of those?" Dad says, "Soon as your mom leaves for work."

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they don’t know what a home looks like.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue, you look like a donkey, and smell like one, too.

I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.

I can also tell if they are standing.