Look Jokes

My teacher told me, "You have no idea how powerful this quote is." I looked at her and told her, "You don't know how powerful the shotgun in my bookbag is."

What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one

Jacob Wheet, If You Don't Understand Look It Up

Man looks at his friend and says "if you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt would you tell anyone? " The friend says im a disgusted tone "No" So the man says "ok let's go camping"

I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike I just collect body parts

I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.

This year my friends wanted to dress up as crayons for Halloween. They asked me if I wanted to be a tan crayon. I didn’t want to, but I said yes to be nice. I wish I had said no, because now I look like a dick to everyone else.

what does an apple and a lawyer have in common?

they both look good hanging from a tree

Me and my friend were roasting each other. She said, "You look like a Reese's cup." I replied, "You're so old, your pubic hairs are 50 shades of gray."

So two cats, one English (named "One Two Three Cat") and one French (named Un Deux Trois Cat"), are walking through a forest and come across a river. To have a little fun, they decide to have a race across the river. One Two Three Cat swam across, and when he finished the race, he looked behind him. Un Deux Trois Cat was nowhere to be seen. So One Two Three Cat figured that Un Deux Trois Cat sank.