Look jokes

When the US Army found Chinese soldiers selling secrets to China, they said, "Looks like we have some chinks in our armor."

Why can’t kids at an orphanage play hide and seek?

Because no one’s looking for them.

Me: I look up to you.

Friend: Wow, thanks!

Me: But in general cuz your so tall.

Things to kids:

Dragapult: "Ooh, look! Some ammo."

A Good Parent: "My baby!"

Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)

I took an hour-long shower. The German officers were looking at me kinda scared.

I was walking today and I saw an emo with a noose looking up at a tree. I simply said, "Hang on there, bud!"

He is looking for children. If you don't know who EDP445 is, look him up.

Be careful around EDP445.

I looked up "I have whiplash" on WebMD, and it diagnosed me with slavery.

"You look like you've lost some weight."

"Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"

So the other day, I was looking up zodiac sign stuff, you know, I'm a real big fan of that, and I come across this thing and it’s like all zodiac signs have their own hairstyles... except Cancer.

I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store.

I said to him: "I don't think they have what you're looking for, sir."

The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet. The student recited the alphabet: "abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz". "Where's the p?" He looked down to the floor and said: "it's running down my legs".

A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel, and when all of a sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says, "Father, what is that?" He says, "This, sister, is the wand of life." The nun says, "Good, now go stick it in that camel's ass and let’s get the hell out of here!"

Two people just met. One said, “We should do some bonding.” The other nodded and said back, “Titanic.” The first just looked confused so the second one just said, “Sorry, thought that would be a good icebreaker.”

One day I came to my mom and said, "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"

Mom: "No you can't..."

Me: *throws butter out the window* Me: "Look I made a butterfly!"

lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it.

My wife is like a mirror.

I can never look at it.

I walked into a room full of men masturbating. They all looked shocked when I didn't stop.

A kid asks his mom, "Mom, how much do you love me?" The mother responds with, "I love you as much as I love your brother." The kid looks confused and says, "But I don't have a brother." The mother smiles and says, "Well, I guess my love is not existing."

An Asian man goes to the eye doctor.

The doctor says, "It looks like you have a cataract."

The Asian guy says, "No Doc, I drive a Rincoln."

I was setting a voice recognition password for my new phone, and a dog nearby barked and ran away. Now I'm still looking for that dog to unlock my phone.