Look Jokes

Yo mama so ugly, she looks like a green bean with googly eyes.

Your sister: You're so ugly.

Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?

Mbu some guys look financially stable until you start dating them... Mbu wait I see how this week goes...🤔

Johnny Depp to a 15-year-old girl: "Wow, look at that sexy body! Savvy!"

Michael Jackson, when talking about a 6-year-old boy: "The boy is mine! That doggone boy is mine! Don't waste your time...."

Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and Jeffrey Epstein entering and exclaiming, "Wow, this place is more fun than the Playboy Mansion!"

I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.

What looks like it has jaundice and is filled with stupidity?

A Mexican.

You look like you're playing hide-and-seek with your hairline.

I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.

I can also tell if they are standing.

My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's hairline, even though his ears are so big and his face looks like a monkey... if they were white.

Plastic bags look like you, dirty and fake.

There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.

I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.

I found a lot of matches.

eBay is so useless.

I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.

Wife: “How do I look?” Husband: “With your eyes.”

There is this little boy, and he gets in the shower with his mom and looks up and says, "Mommy, what are those?"

She replies with, "These are my headlights."

He looks down and says, "Mommy, what's that?" She says, "That's my garage."

So he gets out of the shower and gets in with his dad and looks down and says, "What is that?" The dad says, "This is my snake."

Later that night, he wakes up in the middle of the night and screams, "Mommy, Mommy, turn off your headlights and close your garage. Daddy's snake is trying to get in!"

This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.

Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?

Ben: I don't know.

Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.

I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.

Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.

Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.