James Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?
Look Jokes
Look for the Gummy Bear album in stores on November 13th, with lots of music, videos, and extras!
Bro's hair looks like Buzz Lightyear, going to infinity and beyond!
You think you guys are funny, but look at your hairline. It be looking like the McDonald's symbol. ππππππππ€¨ππ¦πΆπ»πππππππππππππ³π³π³πππππππ€¨
It looks like Kevin Magnussen finally got pole position.
He has the bragging rights that he took over Russia now.
Are your forehead and your hairline best friends because they look like they go way back?
Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"
Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."
Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."
Guy: "About that..."
Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.
Why does Fallout look like Ohio?
Bro, why does Ohio look like Fallout 4?
Looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?
Don't want to learn the landing part, though, Allah said it's unnecessary.
Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because youβre deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile.
You look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if I give you this flower, will you finger my bum?
Femboys are looking kinda tasty for a date, especially the dick and their balls.
My child: "Dad, am I beautiful?"
Me: "Youβre like the sun, sweetie. Youβre painful to look at."
McNeill's mom wrote a shopping list for supper:
cabbage _50
Carrots-50
Cooking fat -100
Onions_20
Tomato-20
salt-10
Total=250
She gave McNeill the list to get the ingredients.
McNeill took long to return home from the shopping.
His mom decided to call McNeill to ask why are taking long. McNeill answered, "I have all the ingredients, but I'm looking for total."
Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck π
βI turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.β
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldnβt see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? βIβm looking for the man who shot my paw!β
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
Whatβs red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
Whatβs the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
Your hairline be looking like the Great Recession.
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, βNo honey for you for one month!β
Later that afternoon, Johnnyβs dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. βThatβs it! No butter for you for one month!β says his dad.
Later that evening as Johnnyβs mother cooks dinner, a cockroach runs across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, βAre you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?β
