Look

Look jokes

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead.

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.

So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.

[Chorus:] Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.

It's a cool place and they say it gets colder. You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older. But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture.

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin. The water's getting warm so you might as well swim. My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.

[Chorus 2x]

Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas. I need to get myself away from this place. I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change.

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.

So much to do, so much to see. So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.

[Chorus]

And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.

If you don’t know what introspection is, you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.

I picked up a document, and I started to feel cold.

I looked down at the document, and it read "DRAFT."

This one time I said that John Cena looks like crap.

But I realized I can't see him. LOL!

What is the reason for why women never look to the right?

Because they don't have any rights.

What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.

  • 4

    • A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"

    The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."

    "Yeah, that's the one!"

  • 1

    • I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

    "Well, I'm your man," I replied, "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

    I walked into a room full of men masturbating. They all looked shocked when I didn't stop.

  • 0

    • I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.

  • 0

    • Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.

    Yo mama so stupid, I told her Christmas was right around the corner--and she looked.

  • 0

    • An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde, and an old lady are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard, and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek.

    The old lady thinks, "I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde, and she struck the pervert."

    The blonde thinks, "I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the old lady for me, and she slapped him."

    The Frenchman thinks, "I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark, and she slapped me by mistake."

    The Englishman thinks, "I can't wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again."

  • 2

    • Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"

    Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."