This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
a priest sees a man about to commit suicide the man says "I have nothing to live for here I will die go to heaven and get 72 virgins" then the priest says "no need for this I will take you to the local elementary school"
There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7 - When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the 'bright side' of it. She said "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome" 54 students died that day.
Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?
The owners know that forces cum in pears
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
My local hacker contacted me and told me that he hacked my computer. I responded, “Show me proof.” He provided the username and password for my email account, bank account, video game accounts, and social media accounts. To be honest, that is the fastest “Forgot Password” procedure I’ve ever done.
A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library, when we returned them he said “your sister works the returns right” I told him “yes she does and she will be here in about five minutes”. He said “ why don’t we put a cook book in the women’s sports section” I told him “I love it” so I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.
GRAVEYARD SAVINGS: While leafing through our local newspaper, I noticed this classified ad: “For sale: one used tombstone. Splendid opportunity for a family named Dingle.”
Someone asked me to go to hell, so I drove to my local middleschool.
So there’s this air purifier in my room right, and it’s really noisy so I unplugged it to sleep better and sure enough I fell asleep faster, so I came to the conclusion if I unplug noisy machines people will sleep better. It worked really well in my local hospital
What happens when you find a bomb at your local bazaar? It becomes a flee market.
A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around, that they offered a standing bet of one thousand dollars that their bartender can squeeze a lemon dry until all the juice ran into a glass, and anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried but failed. Over time Weight Lifters, Lumberjacks, men in the Army, and Etc. But still, nobody could do it. One day, a scrawny little man came in wearing thick glasses and a cheap suit and said in a tiny squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet". After the laughter had died down the bartender said "okay" and he grabbed a lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the Rhine to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to Total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the one thousand dollars and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack a weight lifter or what?". The man simply replied, "I work for the IRS".
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What is the name of Hitler's WiFi? The local aryan network
where can you donate an aborted fetus?
your local pizzeria.
When Leicester City won the league in 2015/16 , do you think there was a little lad in Africa running around with Drink-water on his back annoying the hell out of the locals ?
Bro you were born in a local 7 eleven bathroom
I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling. He never came back the next day, says the local news.
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves. Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
